Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

It's a film about Persians, starring American actors, with shaky accents that sound like they were raised in London. Not that you would go to Prince of Persia expecting fine attention to detail. It's a movie based on a video game, produced by Jerry Bruckheimer and rolled right off his assembly line of similar looking average actioners. With it's gleaming, shimmery special effects and airy charm, Persia is entertaining but hardly memorable.

Video game movies should be a dying breed based on their track record. Unfortunately they're practically a genre unto themselves. As far as comparisons go, Prince of Persia rises a dozen notches above junk like Alone in the Dark, Resident Evil(any of 'em), or Doom. For one, it has real star power thanks to the wide-eyed charm of Jake Gyllenhaall as Dastan, a brave street rat who proves himself to the king one day and is taken in to become a part of the royal family. The king's sons accept Dastan as their brother and potential heir. However while the king is away, his right hand man Nizam(Ben Kingsley) encourages war with the peaceful land of Alamut. They're hiding weapons of mass destruction or something. Cue up the Iraq war analogies, please.

The invasion is a rousing spectacle, led by Dastan who leaps and bounds across walls and rooftops like a trained acrobat. Or a video game character. Director Mike Newell, who helmed the most bland Harry Potter film by somebody not named Chris Columbus, shows he's more adept with the bouncy action sequences than he showed in that film. Dastan almost single-handedly takes down Alamut, securing a treasured dagger that is being guarded by the beautiful Princess Tamina(Gemma Arterton). She's a feisty sort, even in the presence of the king. Presenting the king with a gift of priestly robes as a celebration of their victory, Dastan is shocked when the garments burn through flesh, killing the monarch. Accused of murder, Dastan flees, but not before taking Tamina along with him.

It's not long before they discover that he was framed as part of some convoluted plot to gain posession of the dagger, which holds mysterious powers. It has the power to rewind time, giving it's owner the chance to correct any mistakes he might've made. When used, the effect is a glowing sandstorm of golden energy, with the user's astral form watching as time folds back on itself. It's an impressive sight, which thankfully isn't overused.

I like Jake Gyllenhaall for the most part. He's got a certain goofy swagger to him that works, especially when reciting cornball dialogue that sounds like it was ripped from a bad comic book. There's a tenuous chemistry between he and Arterton, as we're forced to watch Destan and Tamina do the flirter's tango for what seems like an eternity. It's fun, in a Moonlighting sortof way, but like that show eventually you just want the two to kiss and move on already. Arterton, who was the only memorable thing about Quantum of Solace, is pretty much forgettable here as the smart mouthed princess. Her job is to look pretty and give a good smooch when the time comes. It's in her contract, and looks a lot like the contract she must've signed for Clash of the Titans.

Balancing the dazzling wall-crawling shots that would put Spider-Man to shame are periods of boredom that are only cured when Alfred Molina shows up and steals the entire film as an enterprising sheikh of questionable moral fiber. Not only has he cornered the market on fixing ostrich races, but he's also a tinfoil hat wearing conspiracy theorist who both hates the government yet wants to cash in on it by capturing Dastan.

Persia's biggest problem is that there's very little in the way of real tension. The plot is too thin and the mysterious enemy who framed Dastan never feels like a real threat. It doesn't help that the story's central premise pretty much tells you exactly how the film will end right from the start. Hello! I've got a dagger that rewinds time! Nobody's actually in any jeopardy, so what reason is there to get all worked up over anything? Those weird looking Egyptian ninja dudes with the darts and stuff? Eh, who cares?

I feel the same way about Prince of Persia that I do the rest of Bruckheimer's stuff, only with slightly more violence. It's a fluff piece. Tons of fun for brief stretches, followed by mindbending leaps in logic. Add hero and vixen, rinse, repeat. It'll make for an entertaining getaway film for the family, but I doubt anybody's gonna want to play through this game again.