Review: Robin Hood

                He’s the one who robs from the rich and gives to the poor, you know him…everyone does, he’s Robin Hood. This, however, is not the Robin Hood story you know this is more the story of how the legend came to be. Robin Hood opens with Robin Longstride, an archer in King Richard’s army, fighting in the crusades. When King Richard is killed in battle Robin and some of his compatriots decide to leave the fight and head for home. Along the way they come upon a group of soldiers carrying King Richard’s crown back to the castle who have been ambushed by French soldiers. Robin and his men dispatch most of the ambushing Frenchman and come upon Robert Locksley who’s lying among the dead, himself dying. On his dying word Locksley asks Robin to return his sword back to his father in Nottingham where not only his father, but his wife, Marion, is waiting. Robin and his now merry men make the trek to Nottingham after assuming the roles of the dead knights and returning the crown to it’s rightful heir, Richard’s brother, John. Upon arriving in Nottingham the men find the town completely barren, robbed of their grain by the church and taxed into poverty by their kingdom. Robin finds Robert Locksley’s father Sir Walter Locksley and returns the sword. Walter Locksley than asks Robin to assume his son’s identity to keep the morale of the townspeople up. Meanwhile one of King John’s men Sir Godfrey is plotting against the throne and stirring up the French to take over the English throne. Robin, who is now under the assumed name Locksley, and his men must set right the wrongs against the town of Nottingham and stop Godfrey and the French invasion.

                Well it certainly sounds like a lot is going on in the lives of Robin and his merry men, doesn’t it? Unfortunately it doesn’t really translate like that on screen, to be blunt this movie is pretty boring. The story itself leads right up to the Robin you know but doesn’t take you there and you only get slight hints of what is to be. I can appreciate what they were trying to do by giving a history to Robin Hood, but what they missed was adding the excitement that the history so badly needs. Yes, Robin is an archer in the film, but you don’t get any indication that he is the greatest archer of his time. Yes, Robin and his men do steal from the rich and give to the poor, but that is only shown in one quick scene. To be honest they come of more as selfish jerks than altruistic thieves, deserting their company in war and stealing the guise of noble knights in hopes that it nets them a few bucks. Marion, Robin’s legendary love, is already married in this film and is basically forced to become Robin’s wife when he assumes Robert Locksley’s identity…not exactly an epic love story that you would tell your grandkids. She also inexplicably becomes a warrior in the film’s climax up until which point she was basically just a strong willed farmer.  The film is supposed to be about Robin Hood’s beginnings yet nothing in this movie works to lead up to the hero that we know and love. I can’t honestly sit here and tell you it was all bad though the film did have some highlights.

                Little John (Kevin Durand) is a stand out as Robin’s foe turned right hand man. This guy’s gigantic frame and friendly face make him perfect for the role. He has some of the best dialogue in the film and his dynamic with Robin, though limited, is great. The battle scenes are also pretty fun to watch, though I felt the action within them could have been amped up they were certainly produced on an epic scale. I also give Ridley Scott credit where credit’s due, the guy can shoot an awe inspiring slow mo shot (though he also gives us a laugh inspiring slow mo scene in this one too!). Prince John (Oscar Issac) and Sir Godfrey (Mark Strong) are pitch perfect in their portrayal of the film’s villains. Though their stories may be a little whack both men really make you hate and despise them throughout the story’s arc, and really are the only thing in the film that make you know Robin is the hero.

                Without a moment’s hesitation I can say that I was severely disappointed walking out of Robin Hood. In part because the film trampled all over the mythology that we’ve been told since birth, but also because it was just plain boring.  I could have easily gotten over the filmmakers taking Robin in a new direction if that direction was fun to watch, but it’s not. The story isn’t compelling, the action, when it shows up, is bland, and the characters are disposable. There were a lot of comparisons to Gladiator when this trailer hit but I’m sorry to say the only similarity is Russell Crowe’s beard. Don’t bother with this one in theaters, if you’ve already seen iron Man 2 than just stick it out a little while…it’s the summer movie season and something good is bound to come out soon.

2 out of 5 Guttenbergs