Predators

Back in 1987, John McTiernan directed this little sci-fi flick called Predator. It starred this hulked up mass of muscle named Arnold Schwarzenegger as the leader of a Special Ops team who get trapped in the Brazilian jungle with an alien creature bent on slaughtering them. It was pure testosterone, a movie for macho men and sci-fi geeks alike. In recent months we've seen a number of 1980s staples get pulled out of hibernation for another go 'round, but only Predators can go toe-to-toe with the original and put up a remarkably good fight.

Predators kicks off with a blistering opening that sets the pace for the rest of the film, as Royce(Adrien Brody) wakes up find himself hurtling out of the sky, his parachute unopened. Crash landing with a thud, he awakens in a mysterious jungle not unlike the one that served as the setting 23 years ago. An ex-military badass turned hitman, Royce quickly sniffs out that he's not alone. He's joined by others a lot like himself: a Russian VDV soldier(UFC fighter Oleg Taktarov); a Mexican enforcer for a drug cartel(Danny Trejo); a death row inmate(Walter Goggins); a Yakuza hitman(Louis Ozawa Changchien); a South African death squad officer(Mahershalalhashbaz Ali). Isabelle(Alice Braga), an Israeli sniper, and Edwin(Topher Grace), a twitchy doctor who seems strangely out of place round out the odd assortment of killers.

It's not long before they're under attack by an unseen enemy, who seems to be testing them at every turn. Royce, recognizing the tactics being employed against them, quickly figures out that they weren't dropped their by accident, but they've become prey in someone else's hunting party. These eight strangers, have been picked to live in a game preserve, forced to survive together, to find out what happens when people stop being hunters and start being the hunted.  Sorry, a Real World commerical came on and I just rolled with it.

Predators wisely doesn't just try to emulate the McTiernan classic, but instead embraces the history and forges a new path. It's not long before this pack of killers are being picked off one by one in a bloody flash of laser fire...if you're lucky. If you're not, you might come face to face with one of the deadly predators for an up close and personal demise, stuck like a hunk of meat at the end of their blade. Just as all seems hopeless, they run into the eccentric Noland(Laurence Fishburne), who makes an entrance that any actor would kill to have just once. It's too good to spoil. Noland's been stranded on the planet for years, and has a funny way of treating his "guests". Hospitality runs a distant second to survival in his world.

Director Nimrod Antal, who just recently directed another machismo flick with Fishburne called Armored, is a fanboy's best friend. He and producer Robert Rodriguez wisely don't try to emulate the '87 classic, instead embracing the history and forging a new path, one that thankfully ignores the bland Alien vs. Predator series entirely. Everything you could've hoped to see is here, from the creepy glare of the Predators' ultraviolet vision, to the spine tingling(and ripping) collection of trophys of past kills. It's a glorious homage of blood and bones. The only thing missing was an Alien head mounted on the wall. And Danny Glover. There was no Danny Glover trophy, unfortunately. >sniff<

Lest anyone think that the lithe Adrien Brody can't possibly fill the Governator's shoes as an action hero, think again. He packed on an impressive 25lbs of muscle for the role, and it shows. He commands the action from the word "go", but Royce is never meant to be the same character as Dutch. Royce is a completely different type of soldier. A mercenary, not a commando. As such he has a much looser moral fiber. None of these characters are very likable at all. They're all terrible people, but in varying degrees. Alice Braga has really started to grow on me since she stunk up the screen in David Mamet's film, Redbelt. Since then she's fashioned herself into Michelle Rodriguez-lite in movies like I Am Legend , Repo Men , and Blindness. She has a rough beauty that makes her both believable as a tough chick and a love interest. The rest of the cast is solid, if unspectactular.

The standouts are the Predators themselves, and we're given more bang for our buck with four different versions of the creatures. The differences between them are miniscule in appearance, but in action and attitude the variations become more obvious. It was the practice of the Alien vs. Predator series to alter the Predators so much that they barely resembled the creatures we liked to begin with. It was almost as if the idea was that the Predators needed to be changed in order to make the films cool and stand out. Antal and Rodriguez took the "if it ain't broke" approach, and it works. I could've used a bit more time spent getting to know who some of these characters are. Unlike the first film, there isn't nearly the same amount of time spent forging bonds that make each death hit you just a little bit harder.

Predators is the sequel I always hoped Predator 2 would be. It feels like the first real second act to the story. It's everything I could've hoped for as a fan. Yet it's simple enough that you don't have to be able to quote the Carl Weathers/Schwarzenegger handshake scene from Predator to be entertained. If you're like me then you've been quaking in your boots wondering it Predators would be good enough to make us forget the last few years of terrible spinoffs. Fear not, my friends. Predators is better than that. It's so good that it demands not just one sequel, but many more to follow.