Blu-Ray Review: 'Titanic'

I grew up watching animated Disney movies and the TV show “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” so clearly my beliefs about romance are pretty screwed up. Evil sorcerers, scarred uncles, huge octopus women or gun-happy, hairy French hunters are always going to try to get in the way of me and my one true love, but if I sleep with that one true love, he’s probably going to turn evil. Whoops! Thanks for the insights, everyone.

So imagine how utterly crazy I must be when you learn that one of my favorite movies of all time — it’s in the top 5, definitely — is Titanic, that weepfest with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio that cemented James Cameron as kind of a jerk and made sure that DiCaprio stayed at No. 1 on my Men I Would Leave My Life For list. (Yup, that same list I mentioned when I was gushing over Daniel Day-Lewis and the upcoming Lincoln last week.) Few things are better than DiCaprio in Titanic, and thanks to the new Blu-ray release of the film, that dreamy blond hair can be all up in my house, all the time, even though I’m not a Victoria’s Secret model. Because Leo, like, only dates those.

For real, though, the new Titanic Blu-ray ($22.99 on Amazon), is basically amazing. (You can also buy the set with the film's 3-D version, if you so choose, for $29.99.) Can there be too many special features in a collection? Because that may be the case here, since this set includes the film on Blu-ray, on two DVDs, and with a bunch of excess goodies, like hours of bonus footage, commentary from Cameron, and clips from the documentary Cameron produced with National Geographic about the sunken ship. Trying to be educated about the disaster? These extra features do that. Interested in ridiculously detailed explanations from Cameron about the film’s technical design and production? Yes, this has those. And, if you just want to gaze at Leo’s pretty face, you can do that, too. On three different discs.

The set also has a nice sense of self-awareness, including MTV’s mocking skit about the film from the 1998 Movie Awards, as well as a jab from “Saturday Night Live.” I’m sure that must have pained Cameron, but it certainly earns him some humanity points.

As an unashamed fan of the film’s actual plot — because tragic love stories are my jam — I found the set’s 30 deleted scenes and 2,000 photos most intriguing, because there’s no such thing as too much Titanic. Ooh, what’s that? Yet another shot of Jack and Rose gazing at each other, while those rich assholes judge their beautiful love? Screw those guys! Billy Zane sucks! My heart will go on, and you guys can just deal with it.