Review: Ninja Assassin

Ninjas are pretty cool. Admit it, when you were a kid you wanted to be a ninja. I know I did. I adored Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow from the G.I. Joe universe. My favorite comic book characters were Elektra and Iron Fist, and I couldn't get enough of Wolverine's dealings with the ninja clan known as The Hand. But ninja movies have something of a bad reputation. Let's be honest, the 80s were a tough decade for ninjas, as they were watered down by bad American pseudo-ninjas who had all the speed and stealth of a knee-capped water buffalo. Ninja Assassin is an ultra-stylized, bloody throwback to those films. A gory tale of revenge and, strangely enough, a bit of a love story to boot.

Korean pop sensation, Rain, plays Raizo. Raizo is one of the world's deadliest assassins. We know this because he coldly wipes out a group of thugs from the outset. Raizo is a quiet, merciless ninja killer. We're treated to flashbacks of his upbringing as part of the secret Ozunu Clan, where he's trained amongst a group of other like minded youths to be the best killers around. Think of all the cool training sequences you enjoyed in old school chop socky karate flicks and they're here, only performed by children.

It's here that Raizo falls in love with the lone female trainee. She's a rebellious sort, who defies her teacher whenever possible. After a particularly brutal punishment, she flees, but is quickly captured. Raizo is forced to watch as his own brother kills her. Apparently it stuck with him. Years later, Raizo has turned against his own clan. When a Europol agent(the gorgeous Naomi Harris) begins investigating links into some political murders, she runs afoul of the Oruzu clan. Raizo makes it his job to protect her and gain revenge on his former brothers.

Those looking for any sort of plot...well, first I'd ask what you're doing at Ninja Assassin. It's clear the writers' only motivation is to move from set piece to set piece. The fluff dialogue in between, mostly among a hapless group of agents trying to make sense of their laughable predicament, only serves to bridge us to the next action scene. Admittedly, the film gets some pretty decent mileage out of the absurdity of two cops getting tangled up with a secret ninja shadow organization, but it's a joke that only goes so far.

For most folks, this will be solely about the action. I'm sure you could care less about any sort of relationship that develops between Raizo and agent Mika. Director James McTeigue built this film solely from a few minutes of ninja action that his close friends and collaborators, The Wachowski Brothers, crammed into last year's Speed Racer film. There's no shortage of CGI blood, or hacked up body parts. I saw more people sliced in half here than in 6 Saw films. Often it's a lot of fun, and the ninjas are almost as cool as I remembered. Some scenes are absolutely gorgeous, like a fierce standoff in the rain between Raizo and his master. McTeigue takes an inventive approach to the ninjas, almost painting them as a hive mind. They slink in and out of the shadows, and their thoughts buzz around as if coming from every direction all at once.But then the same problems I had with McTeigue's V for Vendetta pop up. Too many of the most important action scenes are shrouded in total darkness, and not in the cool stealthy way. It's nearly impossible to tell what's going on. The camera is a murky, muddy shade when it least needs to be. I'm sure McTeigue was going for atmosphere, but he needs to find a way to do that and still make it watchable. There's too much of a reliance on CGI; CGI blood, CGI limbs, CGI ninjas, even CGI ketchup. I'll take Tarantino's cheesy fountains of blood over this any day.

I love Naomi Harris as an actress. She was the best part of Danny Boyle's phenomenal 28 Days Later, but she's been hard pressed to find comparable meaty roles since. She's given absolutely nothing to do here but be a damsel in distress. Might as well tie her to the railroad tracks. The film belongs to Korean mega-star, Rain, and his chiseled physique and quiet charisma. The guy definitely has the look of an action star, and he holds his own well enough considering the material he's given to work with. His character is reserved, all but devoid of real emotion, a harder role to play than one might think.

If you're even reading this review, chances are you're going to see Ninja Assassin regardless of what I say. And to be fair, the film is worth checking out because it gets it mostly right. I still prefer my cheesy old, awful ninja movies from the past, but there's still plenty of fun to be had here.
5/10