The Rank 'n File: Trav's Top 5 Favorite Vampires

I don't know when or what it was that made me love vampires so much, but I've always had a soft spot for any movie or TV show that had even a hint of their icy hearts and pale skin. From Interview with the Vampire to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the soulless creatures with a taste for human blood have always appealed to me. Lately, though, I'm less and less enthused when I see any new project involving my beloved vamps. Vampires are suddenly cool and hip. They don't kill people anymore. They'd rather stand around(sometimes in broad daylight! Aaargh!) and stare longingly at the mopey chick across the classroom. Screw that shit, man. I like my vampires as chilling, brutal killers. Or at the very least highly manipulative scumbags.

And before you ask, no I did NOT include Eddie Murphy's Vampire in Brooklyn.

5. Marlowe -30 Days of Night

The crucial moment in this film for me comes when the leader of the vampires, Marlowe, descends on a poor helpless woman who cries out for God to help her. His calm, measured, reply probably killed her worse than the vicious attack that soon followed: "No God."

4. Eli -Let the Right One In


As far as vampire movies go, Let the Right One in is a strange bird. It's as much of a love story than anything else, between a lonesome boy and the mysterious Eli, a vampire trapped forever at the age of 12. They form a unique relationship that's not quite love, but maybe not quite friendship, either. She protects him, and he in turn provides her companionship. With an American remake already in the works, I'm sure people will get a chance to see this story told after a fashion, but my suggestion is that you go rent the original. The first is always best.

3. Max Schreck- Shadow of the Vampire

I watched this movie twice before I realized Willem Dafoe was even in it. That's how much he encompasses the character of Max Schreck, a real vampire hiding in plain sight on the set of F.W. Murnau's 1922 film, Noferatu. Of course this is a fictionalized account. A "What If" scenario that envisions reknowned theater actor Schreck as a real blood sucker, but it sure as hell had me convinced. When Schreck, who had most of the actors thinking he was just really into his role, goes into a tale about his origins as a vampire then calmly bites the head off a bat, it's one of the creepiest scenes ever. If you ever..and I mean ever...run into anyone who thinks Willem Dafoe can't act, calmly show them this movie and tell them to shove it up their arse.

2. Vlad Dracula- Bram Stoker's Dracula

Say what you want about how cheesy this movie can be(and it certainly is), there's no denying how gorgeous it is. Nor is there any denying the power of Gary Oldman's performance as the undead King himself. You can't play a commanding figure like Dracula without charisma to match, and Oldman has it in spades. Whether he's walking cheerfully down the streets with his top hat, lusting with his concubines, or agonizing over his lost love(played wonderfully by Winona Ryder), Oldman is simply captivating in every way. Plus his battle with Van Helsing(Anthony Hopkins) was far more impressive than anything Hugh Jackman ever gave us.

1. Blade-

"Some muthafuckas always tryin' to ice skate up hill". Those iconic words will live forever in the pantheon of cheesy Snipe-isms. That bit of dialogue would be enough to earn him the top spot here on this list, but the fact that he's the baddest ass of all vampire badasses is the clincher. He's the one guy I'd pay to see drive a stake through all of my other faves' hearts and turn them into dust. Blade's trademark dry wit, "How do you think we fund this operation? We ain't the March of Dimes", and assortment of crazy weapons helped solidify Wesley Snipes as the top action star in Hollywood. The Blade character, though, would continue to pull me in even after Snipes left the role. Yes, I'm one of those few who loved the Blade tv series. So sue me. Or better yet, suck it!