Splice

It's a Frankenstein story with a modern twist. Director Vincent Natali's Splice is a lab created concoction of it's own, a collection of sci-fi cliches and horror riffs that meld into a satisfying whole. It's also one of the weirdest movies I've seen all year. I was hoping to one day have a chance to see Adrien Brody make out with a human/animal hybrid hottie, and now I can retire from the film review business knowing that I have. If you think that sounds totally effed up and crazy, it's not even the beginning.

You can take it either as a sci-fi actioner eerily reminiscent of The Fly or Species, or you can look at it as a wagging finger towards those who dare to play god with the human body. Natali brushes lightly over the sticky subject of human cloning and the moral/religious implications, providing just enough to make you think without turning this into a message movie. Besides, before you ever really have a chance to start thinking about the depth of what's actually happening, a creature starts mating with itself and you're snapped back to the fact that this is meant to be silly; to shock and appall.

Brody and Sarah Polley are a pair of hotshot geneticists, Clive and Elaine, married and working together to create new species of disease resistant creatures for a pharmaceutical company. Their latest achievement, which looks like a cross between the Blob and candy induced vomit, is set to thrust the pair into superstardom. However they're bored. Tired of creating tubs of goo when their genius could be better spent creating cooler things, like dog men or frog cheerleaders or something. However, mixing human DNA with those of animals is strictly forbidden. Frustrated by this ethical barrier placed in front of them, Clive and Elaine start their work in secret, hiding it in plain sight at the lab where they work.

Blending human DNA with those of various other creatures, their experiment begins to mature at a staggering rate. What's more, it seems to adapt to it's own environment. When faced with the idea that their creation was a mistake, Clive and Elaine attempt to "pull the plug", but it quickly learns to survive on it's own. Nicknaming it "Dren"("nerd" backwards), they become attached to it in very different ways. The film's far more intriguing aspect is watching Dren learning to cope with it's surroundings, the way it changes and bonds with it's "parents". Dren takes on the shape and form of a female, albeit with a head like a chicken nugget sliced down the middle.

Natali plays some truly screwed up games with the odd triangle forming between Clive, Dren, and Elaine. Torn between the raging hormones of adolescence and the feral nature of her more animalistic genes, Dren is a rage of emotions, quiet and mousy one second and a terrifying predator the next. In particuar her attention seems fixated on Clive in the most disturbing schoolgirl crush one can imagine. If only it were just a crush. Elaine, for her part, is the one that never wanted to have children to begin with, but her interest in Dren is obsessive. Is it maternal instinct? Or is it the cold fascination any scientist would have with an experiment?

Who knew that mutant/animal hybrids scored so much tail? There hasn't been a mutant who got laid this much since Gambit(hi, my X-men fans!) Dren's sexual awakening is disturbing on so many levels it deserves it's own elevator. If you can ignore the bestality issues; or the obvious gender confusion; you can still be knocked over the head by two words: asexual masturbation. Enjoy. There seems to be no end to the ways Splice goes out of it's way to be disturbing.

The most disturbing thing of all, though, is how believable the creature itself is. Created by Howard Berger, who did the effects work for The Chronicles of Narnia films, Dren is both terrifying and I'm ashamed to admit a little bit sultry at times too. That can be chalked up also to the effective performance by Delphine Cheniac, in what has to be the most far out coming-of-age flick she's ever been a part of. At least I hope it is. Brody and Polley are two of my favorites, and they bring their usual brand of emotional intelligence to the table.

While I'm a bigger fan of the thoughtful, developmental scenes, it's hard to deny that the madcap misadventures are a lot of fun as well. Some people will gravitate to the ethical questions being raised about cloning and even a little bit about aborton. You know what I took out of it?   Scientists make terrible parents. Call Social Services.