Punch Drunk DVDs

Beauty and the Beast
I guess Disney is opening that darn vault again. For a limited time you can get this special "Diamond Edition" of arguably their most critically acclaimed animated film, nominated for Best Picture back in 1991.










The Karate Kid
Even though they should've stuck with the original title, The Kung Fu Kid, I can't argue that this remake of the 1984 classic is nearly as fun. Changing the setting from America to China is a little jarring at first, but the unique relationship between Dre(Jaden Smith) and Mr. Han(Jackie Chan) is the strength the story is built on. It's a little tough watching the diminutive Smith getting his butt handed to him in some extremely violent scenes, but if you check the special features and find the awful Justin Bieber video he's in, you might think he deserves it. Just a little.  A great family film and arguably the best 80s remake of the year. Sorry, A-Team.





The Last of the Mohicans: Definitive Director's Cut
Michael Mann's imagining of the James Fenimore Cooper novels is arguably one of the most beautiful, sweeping films ever made. It's definitely high on my list. It might also be the last time you'll see Daniel Day-Lewis in any performance that resembles restrained in any way, shape, or form. Restrained for him, anyway.









Grindhouse
People mostly avoided this double exploitation flick featuring Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez doing what they do best. After releasing both flicks, Planet Terror and the far superior Death Proof separately on DVD you knew it was just a matter of time before we got the real theatrical experience, complete with all the fake trailers(including Machete!) that were really the best part anyway.








A Nightmare on Elm Street
A John Nolan special recommendation. There are scarier things in my fridge than in this bland remake produced by Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes studios. Jackie Earle Haley takes on the clawed glove Freddy Kreuger this time around, and while he's a fantastic actor I found his performance strangely muted.









Splice
So the end result of tinkering with the DNA of animals and humans is a chick who looks like a cross between Sinead O'Connor and a chicken McNugget? That's pretty effed up, but hardly the most effed up thing you'll find in Vincenzo Natali's wacky Frankenstein horror flick. Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley star as a pair of hot shot geneticists who are too busy playing God to realize that their little pet project is set to assert her independence in some truly awful ways.







The Human Centipede
I couldn't bring myself to see director Tom Six's horrific, perverse horror about a mad scientist who kidnaps three folks and merges their bodies into a monstrous human centipede. But will I rent it? Y'damn skippy I will. Hopefully Six's arrogance in regards to the importance of his creation will be justified. Who cares if it's 100% medically accurate? I don't think too many surgeons out there are looking to discover new ways to cram one person's head up another's ass. I could be wrong though.







The Secret of Kells

The other flick nominated for Best Animated Feature last year at the Oscars. The one nobody knew what in the sam hill it was. The Secret of Kells is a gorgeously hand drawn film, using a style similar(but far more elaborate and colorful) to the angled animation of Persepolis. The Celtic myth based story revolves around a young boy living in an Irish monastery, who ventures off on a dangerous quest to complete a sacred manuscript.







30 Days of Night: Dark Days
I've been doing a lot of writing on this sequel to the deliciously violent 30 Days of Night, so you must know that I've had this pre-ordered for weeks. Kiele Sanchez(A Perfect Getaway) replaces Melissa George as Stella, who goes off in search of revenge against the vampires responsible for the death of her husband(last played by Josh Hartnett). Mia Kirschner and Harold Perrineau co-star.









Holy Rollers
While Jesse Eisenberg is currently receiving rave reviews for The Social Network, it's not the first mesmerizing performance the actor's had this year. In Holy Rollers he plays a the brains behind a drug trafficking ring run by Hacidic Jews.