Keanu Reeves as Kaneda in live-action Akira? Do I need to explain why this would suck?

I can barely work up the energy to write about this. Not even Warner Brothers, who have made some crappy head scratching decisions in the past, would be stupid enough to greenlight this. Right? THR says that the studio is considering the very 46 year old Keanu Reeves to play teenage biker Kaneda in their live-action, Americanized adaptation of Akira.  Was Jack Nicholson busy or something?

They've been having a hell of a time finding an A-list star to lead the Albert Hughes directed film, which promises to be a big and potentially very expensive one. Without a big name attached, Warner Brothers was even considering canning the thing altogether. James Franco passed on it months ago, and in desperation we had heard they were considering a number of other actors, some age appropriate and some dangerously close to Geritolville, were approached. Names like Robert Pattinson, Michael Fassbender, Justin Timberlake, and Chris Pine were talked about for the Kaneda role. They even reached out to Brad Pitt at one point. Not a lot of similarity there. None, actually. Apparently Joseph Gordon-Levitt was on the list somewhere, too.

Reeves has yet to receive an offer, and let's hope he never does. He might be tempted to sign it. Reeves as Kaneda would mean a DRASTIC change in the story, so much so that I don't think anybody would be interested in seeing Akira except to see how hard it falls on it's face. I feel bad for Albert Hughes, who has been angling to cast the film how he wants but has hit road blocks the whole way.

THR speculates that Reeves' hire could lure another A-lister into the fold. First of all, does anybody consider Reeves an A-lister anymore? What was the last film he anchored that anybody gave two spits about? And what if this plan does work? They'd have to bring another mid-century actor to play Tetsuo. Might as well call it Grumpy Old Men.