The 12 Days of Christmas – Day 6: ‘American Psycho’

For the most part, our 12 Days of Christmas series here at Punch Drunk Critics has been about films that are largely centered around Christmas or set during Christmas time, like my previous picks, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and Batman Returns. But with American Psycho, I’m veering off a bit – because the cult classic only has one scene about Christmas, and yet it’s a perfect distillation of everything the movie is saying about yuppie culture, about New York City, about audacious wealth, about the absurdity of the upper class. In barely 90 seconds, director and screenwriter Mary Harron, adapting Bret Easton Ellis’s original novel, accomplishes all that. It’s an impressive feat.

So let’s jump right into it. Here is the scene in question:

At this point, we’ve already met Patrick Bateman, and we already know why this movie is called “American Psycho.” He’s an image-obsessed, intensely competitive, and everyone-hating person, safely ensconced by his wealth and by his ignorant, self-obsessed yuppie friends. Look at how everyone in this party is barely talking to each other, but more at each other – who hasn’t experienced that at a Christmas party? Do you really care what your co-worker’s second cousin’s girlfriend did for her wedding reception? Or how your neighbor’s brother’s teacher is doing with his fantasy football team? No, you don’t care. And Patrick Bateman certainly does not care.

But it’s in Patrick’s nature to grin and bear it – at least outwardly – as must we all. Oh, his terrible coworker who is secretly in love with him is going to put cloth reindeer ears on him? What fun! Oh, his terrible fiancee (cast perfectly with Reese Witherspoon, all irritating chipperness) for some reason has a Vietnamese potbelly pig as a pet? Great!

And what an excellent interaction between the two of them: He barely says anything, while she launches into, “Stop scowling, Patrick. You’re such a Grinch! And what does the Grinch want for Christmas this year? And don’t say breast implants again.”

How to get away from this conversation with a fiancee who he gives zero fucks about, and whom he tells later on, “You’re just not that important to me?” Spot your work rival across the party and go invite him to dinner, after which you plan to murder him, of course!

OK, maybe this isn’t part of your Christmas experience, but it’s an utterly on-point choice for Patrick. Everyone else is joyous, gleeful, and celebratory, but for Patrick, the party is torture – the only bright spot being the opportunity to manipulate Paul (Jared Leto, cast well, but not as well as he was in Fight Club, the previous year) into a death trap. Holiday party success!

And in only one scene, a short-and-sweet encapsulation of the only way Patrick Bateman would approach Christmas and you know, the rest of his life: with disgust, resentment, and a falsely cheery attitude. May your holidays never be that dreadful. Oh, and let Reese Witherspoon leave you with one piece of advice:

Seriously, just don’t do it.