Seven Kingdoms Scoop: 'Game of Thrones' recap of 'Valar Dohaeris'

WE HAVE ALL WAITED VERY LONG FOR THIS SEASON OF GAME OF THRONES, AND I AM VERY EXCITED.

I am basically a Game of Thrones elitist - I really want people to have read the books, and I have very little patience for viewers who can't keep up with the ensemble structure or the dozens of characters or the numerous plotlines. BECAUSE, THE SHOW IS GREAT. ACKNOWLEDGE THAT, DAMMIT.

So each week here we're going to do a mini-recap of that past Sunday's Game of Thrones episode, with five quick things you need to have noticed from the night before. These recaps won't be too extensive - we're talking more like great quotes, important details, etc. - but they will be a place for us to nerd out about GoT, so feel free to comment! Pretend a crow sent it.

For the five best things from last night's season three premiere, "Valar Dohaeris," click through! And here's your freebie: In High Valyrian, "valar dohaeris" means "all men must serve," and is the proper reply to "valar morghulis" ("all men must die"), the phrase the super-hot Jaqen H'ghar taught Arya last year.

(Oh, and of course: SPOILERS ahead!)

1. King in the North Robb Stark and his wife (and what, the only medical expert traveling with his forces?) Talisa find one survivor at the destroyed Harrenhaal, the ancient Qyburn. He seems just like a random old dude with a grisly neck wound, but nope. Qyburn is actually a maester, and one with ... very specific interests in corpses. And reanimation. And reanimating corpses. That little tidbit will become fairly important as George R.R. Martin's book series progresses, so hopefully they'll keep it in the show, too.

2. "Speak no more of your rights to Casterly Rock" says Tywin Lannister to Tyrion in a particularly cutting dress-down of his son, and that shitty relationship between the two of them is pretty much the norm. These two are never going to hug or, you know, even be in the same room without glaring at each other. But that animosity will shape a lot of Tyrion's actions going forward, and keep Tywin's appraisal as Tyrion as "full of envy, lust, and low cunning" in mind. It's kind of true, but not in the way you would expect.

3. Sansa still seems as bratty as ever, but now her whininess has a touch of helpless melancholy to it, no? As she and Shae play a game watching the ships coming and going from the port, Sansa notes that "The truth is always terrible or boring." Depressing, but apt. (Aside: Anyone else thing Sansa's hair looks particularly red during this episode? I know it's dyed, but this application was a little too aggressive - too much like Melisandre.)

4. Speaking of Melisandre, her "I will pray for you" to Davos Seaworth after he attempted to kill her for incorrectly assuring their victory at Blackwater Bay was so wonderfully hilarious and bitchy. Now Davos is locked in the Dragonstone dungeon, and Stannis only has Melisandre at his side. Talk about having your man under a tight grip.

5. And lastly, the only good thing Joffrey may have ever done is this snarky criticism of his mother Cersei: "Facts and facts become less important to her as she grows older." The kid is a grade-A asshole, but at least he understands his mom's specific brand of crazy - which does spiral out of control in Martin's books. Joffrey's douchiness is just part of his DNA, obviously.