Review: 'Mortdecai,' starring Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Ewan McGregor

So look at here: We are starting out 2015 with a new Johnny Depp as a crazy character movie, huh? This time it’s supposedly for adults with the whole R-rating thing. I guess he just has no interest in playing someone regular again. Oh well, he was quite good at it at one point in time.

So what is this movie? It’s called Mortdecai. It’s based on a series of comedic thrillers from author Kyril Bonfiglioli that I clearly have not read. Also starring in this is Gwyneth Paltrow as Johanna Mortdecai, Ewan McGregor, Paul Bettany, and Olivia Munn. I guess their goal was to make a really funny British style comedy for American people but it seems like they failed on both sides here.

So what is Mortdecai about? It’s about this dandy-like British art smuggler by the name of Charlie Mortdecai (Depp). He bubbles around as he’s trying to get money to pay his 8 million pounds in taxes. A famous art restorer is murdered for this famous Goya painting and his old Oxford rival Inspector Martland (McGregor) asks him help them find the murderer and the painting. This takes Mortdecai and his manservant Jock Strapp (yes that is his name, and he's played by Paul Bettany) all over the world trying to find this painting. Total hijinks ensue ... I guess. The B-plot is Mortdecai having marital issues with Johanna, his wife, because of his new mustache that he loves so much and she hates.

You know the thing with this movie is that it’s not good but it really doesn’t suck enough to hate. Mortdecai just washes over you in uninterestingness. It seems like they were trying make something in the old Peter Sellers Pink Panther lane of comedy but it never catches on. In a lot of ways the pacing and the structure feels like it would be a really good animated movie. I’m thinking with the way the performances are and the costuming being so over the top, this would’ve been great as a cartoon. The movie really relies too much on weird facial expressions and goofy pratfalls. The cinematography really isn’t anything to talk about other than these silly over-CGI-ed transitions from city to city.

The real saving grace to this whole thing is Paul Bettany as Jock Strapp. He’s hilarious during the whole movie as Mortdecai's tough guy/ladies’ man manservant. Watching makes you think this story would be a lot more interesting if it were from his perspective rather than Mortdecai's.

Another funny thing with this movie is the two stars of it are American actors doing English accents, whereas everyone else is actually English; it's a bit disjointing. I don’t know if Gwyneth Paltrow’s accent always works.

But seriously, this movie really isn’t something to go out and see in the theater. It might be something fun to watch at home. As I said earlier, it isn’t good enough or bad enough to even get a real reaction. I think Mortdecai is something to pass on and instead just go catch up on Academy Award nominees.

Rating: 2 out of 5 Guttenbergs

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Review - The Wedding Ringer starring Kevin Hart, Josh Gad and Kaley Cuoco

My first review of the year and it’s a Kevin Hart movie. I know how that sounds, like man Julian is starting the hate MAD early. See I like Kevin Hart, I laugh at Kevin Hart and I see most of his output even, that Real Husbands of Hollywood show on BET. I just find it interesting that we might be in a thing where mid-January is his time to shine in the theaters and get money. One more year after Ride Along last year and this movie The Wedding Ringer and proof will be in the pudding. The Wedding Ringer is another starring vehicle for Hart this timed teamed with Josh Gad aka Olaf the new GOAT snowman. Also in this movie is Kaley Cuoco and a personal fav of mine Olivia Thirlby.

The Wedding Ringer is about Jimmy, played by Hart, a man that sells his services as a Best Man to people who don’t have one for their weddings. Josh Gad plays Doug, a man with no friends at all and is marrying his dream girl but has been lying about a made up best friend by the name of Bic Mitchum to her since they got engaged. Doug ends up being referred to Jimmy to help him in his problem and he hires Jimmy to be Bic and also get him groomsman and an entire history of friendship in two weeks before he weds Cuoco’s Gretchen. That’s essentially what you learn in the trailer and to be honest I wasn’t totally impressed with the idea in itself. Luckily I was surprised with The Wedding Ringer, not only was there a lot more to the movie than I thought, they also didn’t spoil all the great laughs in the trailer. I wanted to give someone a high five for that alone.

Hart and Gad really play off of each other well. The script and the performances play the dynamic of cool loner guy and lonely uncool guy really well. The plot of the movie is very easy to guess in what happens to all the characters. Friendships are made, backs are had, and muddy football games are played. For the most part the film is pretty down to earth in what happens with the comedy but for some reason once they get to the Bachelor Party things get a little too wild, a little too, I might say, Adam Sandler-esque then thankfully it goes back to a nice sense of normal. Another weird thing that stood out to me is that Olivia Thirlby is shot almost entirely in soft focus like it’s in the 60s. I don’t understand totally why they made that choice for a movie in 2015 but hey whatever man. It’s not that distracting for 99.9% of the audience.

So to wrap up The Wedding Ringer is a pretty decent R rated comedy for this time of the year. It’s also a bit different type of character for Hart instead of the annoyingly loud sidekick or narrator all-knowing funny black guy i.e. Think like a Man or About Last Night.  In this terrible season of weak releasing and Award season catch up it’s something new that you can see on weekend night and laugh.

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Thoughts on FOX's new drama 'Empire,' starring Terrence Howard & Taraji P. Henson

Authenticity. That is the life blood of Hip Hop since it’s inception in late '70s in boogie down Bronx. You need to be authentic or believed to be so. If people can believe what you’re pushing, you can rocket to the stars. If they can’t, you’ll fall into the darkness that is wackness. That’s the biggest problem with FOX’s new primetime drama Empire. 

It never feels like it’s of the culture of hip hop or even true the current nature of rap. When watching this show it felt the whole time like I was watching an outsider’s idea of what rap is and then jammed it in a version of black Dynasty-like soap opera. To me, that falls on the shoulders of Lee Daniels and Danny Strong. I had reservations about these two doing a hip-hop-based show once I heard about it. Nothing about either of them spoke like they were of the culture, and to be honest, I only like one of Daniels’ films, Precious. I had very little faith in the quality of the show visually.

When watching this show, all I felt I saw was just stereotypes of what people think rap is and in a way current black culture; there was no depth at all. Terrence Howard’s Lucious Lyon is the rapper-turned-music mogul, but how did he become that way? They show flashbacks with Howard in the black doorag and black hoodie on to show his gangsta past with Taraji P. Henson’s Cookie. Supposedly in Philly in the late '80s or early '90s, the struggle is just shown with him kind of writing rhymes and really Cookie doing all the gangsta stuff. No thought was done to even really make it look like that time at all. You couldn’t find some old cross color overalls, maybe some bright colored sweatshirts? How come you didn’t cast younger actors for the flashbacks with some better hair than Taraji’s ponytail?

Another thing that bothered me is how the music is handled. The show starts out with the characters Hakeem and Jamal Lyon along with their father and brother Andre at a party on a yacht and they break out in an impromptu song; now, this song didn’t sound like it was being played live there on the ship with the piano, but it was a fully produced, studio-recorded track. That instantly took me out of this. I was like, 'Am I watching rap Glee or nah?' Then it continued - every single music point was a produced studio-recorded song even when it was being made. Now for many it’s not a big deal, but it didn’t feel true. It would’ve been better if they had Jamal play piano and somebody beat on some wood for a drum beat for Hakeem to rap to in front of everyone.

Now another thing that is a big deal in the show is that Lucious is trying to pick an heir to the company from one of his sons. He’s not automatically choosing his son Andre who went to business school and helps him run the company, he wants to pick Hakeem because he’s a good rapper with no work ethic, but he definitely doesn’t want to give it to Jamal because he’s gay. See, Lucious is like cartoonishly homophobic in this show. He basically doesn’t want to be in the same room as his son Jamal even though he’s a musical genius that can play instruments, produce hit records, and sing like Miguel. He’s so homophobic that Lucious, when Jamal was little, throws his son in the garbage for walking around in his mother’s high heeled shoes.

Really, that bad guys. He’s that bad. Now I know there are a lot of issues with homophobia in hip hop but this clearly wasn’t the way to handle it. To be honest, Lucious would’ve had to work with plenty of LGBT people in the music industry to be comfortable with his son. To be honest it would’ve been more interesting to tackle that subject with the Hakeem character being gay and having to hide it in order to sell that image of masculinity and thug life to the public, but nah they ain’t about that.

For me the only thing that really worked in this whole thing was Taraji as Cookie. She was the only thing that felt authentic, that brought realness to her character and arc. You felt that Cookie did a bid and that she felt wronged and loved her kids. The pilot feels like she is the protagonist but one that didn’t get enough screen time that was wasted on characters like Lucious and Hakeem. I think the female perspective would be a better take, especially with the current state of marginalization of the female, especially the black female within the culture.

Another main part of the show that I feel is good is the music. Now I criticized how it sounds within the story, but overall the music is good. Timbaland is the one in charge of the music and score of the show and it has that usual Timbo polish. Now as much as I like the production I still can’t buy the Hakeem character as a rapper yet. It’s something with his voice and flow, it bothers me - and the clean versions of song took me out of the story, to be completely honest.  

You might be reading this and thinking, 'Man, Julian is nitpicking, it’s fun and he’s being so hard on it,' and that might be true. It’s because I want things to be better and I don’t think that’s too much to ask. Hip hop is crazy; it’s fantastical, grounded and aspirational. It’s dangerous and it’s fun. It’s dreams and nightmares all wrapped up in rhymes and beats. It bums me out that the show isn’t better, especially from a writing perspective, since hip hop music is so very focused on the craft of writing; a bit more care should’ve been spent on it or bringing in someone to give it that touch of truth. In the end, to me it seems like Daniels wanted to make a black nighttime soap and ended up wrapping it shoddily in rap music so that he could sell it easier. Hopefully it can get better because right now this ain’t getting any Flex bombs.

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Review: Tsui Hark's 'The Taking of Tiger Mountain'

The Taking of Tiger Mountain. Doesn’t that sound like pure fire? You see that trailer and it just sounds and looks like some extra gully Hong Kong experience. See, The Taking of Tiger Mountain is an adaptation of the novel 'Tracks' in the Snowy Mountain. It’s the story of People’s Liberation Army versus a Bandit Gang during the Chinese Revolution. The director is Tsui Hark, a director with a great legacy in Hong Kong action cinema. If you haven’t seen classics like Once Upon A Time In China or Legend of Zu you need to fix that.

Here’s the thing with this film though. It’s long, like LONG. It felt like watching a whole war. The pacing is totally off. This felt like they took what should’ve been some miniseries or two movies and crammed it in a really long movie. Some of that caused me to lose track of some of the characters, or really just their names. The characters are pretty amazingly costumed into these really cool and distinct looks. At times it's like watching a cool Tekken movie.

Now I don’t want to seem like a Debbie Downer because the one thing that is cool to see in this is the action. For those not up on Hark’s work he is like a god of what's called wire fu in martial arts flicks. He’s been doing this for close to 4 decades so now with technology out here his set pieces go pretty far insano. Take all that cool stuff from his kung fu with flying into trees and punching so hard the wind hurts and what not and apply that to soldiers fighting battles. You have tanks and planes and machines guns, you have hero soldiers bouncing bullets off of helmets to take guys out and stopping grenades with other grenades, complete insanity. If this movie was shorter it would’ve been worth every penny.

I can’t really say if the performances were great or not. They are kind of generic to be honest. Like there is a dude named Hawk and he has a hawk, I don’t know what truth there is to pull from that. No lie, the whole thing feels like I was watching some fairly average anime but all with real people instead of animation. Like it was some super form of cosplay. Now I know this sounds very harsh, I have to say I’ve seen better from Hark and I was really excited to see this but was profoundly disappointed. So The Taking of Tiger Mountain is something you should really not go out of your way to see, it’s probably worth looking for the English translation of the novel or if you can read mandarin read it that way.

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The PDC Picks the Top Films of 2014

Mae's Picks

5. Snowpiercer - This is the first English-language feature film for director Bong Joon-ho. And you know what? He gets it right. The production value, a re-envisioned take on already-used themes, and fantastic execution and performances by Chris Evans, Octavia Spencer, and Tilda Swinton, among many others, makes this movie really stand out. It's dark, it has fantastic themes, and keeps you on the edge of your seat throughout. Watching Snowpiercer is essentially like being on a thrilling ride you never want to get off of. As the passengers, who are the last of humankind and are placed in a class system on the train that makes a complete turn around the earth every year, grow tired of being mistreated, they plan to take over the train one car at a time. This literal look at society's economical system is in heavy play here and Bong Joon-ho's direction takes center stage in a suspenseful epic that deserves to be seen and gives us something to think about.

4. Gone Girl - One of the best adapted screenplays of the year (probably because Gillian Flynn, the author of the novel, was the one who adapted the script), Gone Girl is chock-full of powerful acting, a crazy plot, and just the right balance between drama and insanity. Flynn writes with a deft hand and layers the story with proverbial stereotypes about certain gender notions and exceptionally memorable characters. Rosamund Pike's monologue about the "cool girl" is so popular, and for good reason, and her portrayal of Amy is nothing like we've seen from the actress before. Ben Affleck is the accused husband whose life hangs in the balance between normal life and prison (mostly due to the media's twist and portrayal on the proceedings, which plays a large part in the film). I could go on and on with all the great things to say about this film, but just know this: It's excellently done. Also, did I mention the entire "Cool Girl" speech, already?

3. X-Men: Days of Future Past - We can never forget Brett Ratner's turn in the director's chair for the doomed X3, but now with Days of Future Past, we kind of can. Finally! The excellence that was X-Men: First Class and the wonderful first two X-Men films combine worlds in a time travel mash-up that was exciting and more than fulfilling for longtime fans of the movies and comic books alike. For one thing, Bryan Singer is back in the director's chair and the fluidity with which he directs what could have been a complicated plot (what with flip-flopping timelines and all) could have ended in disaster in anyone else's hands. Plus, spoiler alert, every X-Man (and woman!) makes a reappearance in a spectacular fashion. A definite example of how superhero films should be done.

2. Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) - What is there to really say about Birdman that hasn't already been said? Most of the time, critics don't agree on everything, but when they do, there's reason to, and this film is definitely reason to. One of the reasons to love it is that the story pretty much, and ironically, mirrors Michael Keaton's career and rehabilitates it all in one go. The ensemble cast is fantastic, it's a cohesive story, and director Alejandro Inarritu gets technically creative when it comes to the style and oh, yeah, the entire film looks like it's entirely one shot. Which is just awesome. That is all.

1, Selma- A lot of people won't see Selma until January 9, but believe me when I tell you that if you see this film and manage not to like it, then... well, you won't like it, but that in and of itself would be a tragedy. This film couldn't have come at a better time and director Ava DuVernay takes great care to make this film, first and foremost, about Martin Luther King, Jr. Everything else is just an extension of him and only serves to make the film that much better. It's powerful, will probably make you bawl like a baby (bring tissues!), and will leave a great impact on you like no other film will this year. Selma is also backed by a strong cast (David Oyelowo as MLK is outstanding) and really steps up to the plate. The best picture of the year!

Julian's Picks

I don’t see as many films as the rest of the crew but I get out there and you know why

5. The Raid 2- Imagine this whole paragraph with this Sean Bean’s face the whole time you’re reading this.

ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY VIEW THE RAID 2.

The Raid 2 is like pure martial arts film life. It breathes in pure awesome. Where the first film The Raid is like what if some one took late 80s beat’em up video games, bosses and all this one was like a perfect upgrade. With perfect mix of films like Infernal Affairs and Donny Brasco with martial arts classics like the Big Boss or Fist of Legend the Raid 2 had it all. Had me catching the shaolin holy ghost in the theater when I saw it. Every fight is money and also such great new remember able characters like Bat-man and Hammer Girl along with their friend curved knife dude had everyone on the edge of their seat. I go around telling people all the time that they need to fix their life if they haven’t seen The Raid 2.

4. Dear White People- Man I loved the idea of this movie from the title alone. 2014 had been a very weird year for race relations in the United States. For a many just looking at the film’s title and trailer they probably thought this film was about Black people telling white people how they are wrong and really folks are wrong. It’s very much more about generation dealing with race in the country now when it’s supposed to be so post racial. I don’t know, I feel this film a lot. I ended up talking about race a lot this year in many different type of situations and a lot of the issues raised here were needed to be explored in the mainstream. The film also gave me one of my favorite reaction gifs

and Tessa Thompson is fine as all outdoors.

3. Interstellar- This movie is my jam y’all. IT HAS TWO ROBOTS!!!! TARS and CASE all damn day folks. 

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I know this film gets flack from some, I probably love it the most out of our crew here. The movie has Proto-Culture in it! I loved the science in it. The real science fiction explored in it. I loved the whole four-dimensional tesseract part; talk of singularities and the theory of relativity in use.

2. Lego Movie- Lego Movie is my jam. It has Batman in it just stunting on everyone. Holding it down like he does in his Lego games. This joint had my dude Chris Pratt aka The Star-Lord out there being awesome building bunk couches. Being a master builder and all. The film basically has the opposite message of The Incredibles, where in everyone is special in their own way. Which does make everyone the same yet amazing at that same time. I also love how they have that play at the end with something that seems innocuous but really plays with Emmitt (Chris Pratt’s Lego alter ego) basically meeting Judeo Christian God and Jesus with the kid and Will Ferrell. Ferrell created the world and wants strict rules where in his son wants the Lego world to be more forgiving and peaceful. Yeah I saw all that when I was watching it and I’m not even close to religious. I just know stories.

1. Top Five- Chris Rock man, Chris Rock. See I always liked his movies. Head of state was enjoyable. I Think I Love My Wife I swear by but this, Top Five is next level. It’s true what everyone is saying it is Rock’s Annie Hall. It’s a great film basically just about people talking in NYC but from a completely black experience. I love how the film deals with fame, especially urban fame and some of the stuff a person has to deal with. It deals with pressures and the way people view you that really struck a cord. The use of hip hop as a constant topic of a person’s top five favorite emcees is perfect way to really tap into a lot of peoples’ life. Also the whole interview that becomes a date I really connected to in this. A TON! Top Five had me like

Rocky's Picks

5. TIE 22 JUMP STREET/VERONICA MARS- Let’s start with a couple of movies that had big expectations this year: Veronica Mars, which needed to simultaneously please the Marshmallows that helped fund it and people new to the show in order to draw in additional audiences; and 22 Jump Street, which had to prove that the original film starring Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill wasn’t a fluke success. And I think both of them succeeded quite admirably—I couldn’t stop smiling during the former and I couldn’t stop laughing during the latter. Veronica Mars, as I talked about during my Best Trailers of 2014 and Best Kisses of 2014 posts, picked up exactly where the show had left off so many years ago, channeling the right wry and cynical tone while still letting a bit of hope (Logan and Veronica forever!) peep through. And 22 Jump Street continued to poke fun at youth culture, this time mocking the absurdity of college and allowing Tatum and Hill to further their weird sibling rivalry charm. (Let’s hope that the Jump Street/Men in Black crossover hinted at in the Sony email leaks never comes to fruition, because I would shake my fist in prolonged rage.) Overall, though, two of the films that gave me the most smiles this year.

4. TIE: ERNEST & CELESTINE/THE BOXTROLLS- In a year that saw huge success for animated films The LEGO Movie and Big Hero 6, and following last year’s mega-obnoxious-it-will-never-go-away mania of Frozen, I would rather watch Ernest & Celestine or The Boxtrolls. The former is a beautiful (and I mean that both visually and thematically) French-Belgian film about a friendship between a mouse and a bear; they’re not supposed to get along, but they realize their differences from the others of their species make them more attuned to each other than anyone else. The movie was originally released in 2012 but only made its way stateside this year, and please find it and watch it (the subtitled version!). You won’t regret it. The same goes for The Boxtrolls, the latest film from Laika; it underperformed when released this fall, but it’s such a weird, bizarre, gleeful little film that I’ve been recommending it to anyone and everyone. It’s about classicism and creativity and, well, cheese, but all of its disparate elements come together into something great.

3. GONE GIRL- What else is there to say about Gone Girl? I won’t write you a thinkpiece; all I’ll say is that Amazing Amy is my favorite villain of the year. Her cruelty gives me joy. And any time I get the opportunity to smugly say “That’s marriage” to someone, well, I’ll take it!

2. FOXCATCHER- I listed Foxcatcher as my most underrated movie of the year in our staff post, and I stand by that claim. Of the more than 150 movies I saw this year, this is probably the one I can’t stop thinking about—the story that makes me the angriest at American sports culture, social structure, and inherited wealth. All of the performances are great, and in a year packed with male competitors, it’s disappointing that Steve Carrell, Channing Tatum, and Mark Ruffalo might get forgotten for their work here (and they absolutely shouldn’t). The methodical stillness of the filmmaking is unshakably eerie. And while I hear the critique (which fellow PDC-er Travis Hopson has made to me) that director Bennett Miller doesn’t really add anything to the story with his film, I disagree; I think the mystery of the narrative, and the abruptness with which Miller moves between subplots and how he chooses to end the film, speak for themselves. There’s a moral decay to Foxcatcher that is simultaneously enthralling and repellant, and it’s going to stay on my mind for a long time. 

1. BIRDMAN OR (THE UNEXPECTED VIRTUE OF IGNORANCE)- Masterful is how I would describe Birdman—director Alejandro González Iñárritu; cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki; composer Antonio Sanchez; the ensemble led by Michael Keaton and including great work from Edward Norton, Emma Stone, and Zach Galifianakis. Everyone here is in top form; every scene works; every criticism of cinema and theater and fame hits exactly where it needs to hit; every sneer from Norton lands perfectly; every narrated line from Birdman himself has impact. That voice! Who doesn’t love the Keaton-as-Birdman voice? It’s a twisty-turny film, and the ending won’t work for everyone, and the play within the movie structure has its moments of exceeding meta-ness—but I couldn’t take my eyes off any second of it. Birdman is unforgettable, and it’s my favorite movie of the year.


John's Picks

5. Foxcatcher- The ‘Based on a True Story’ film starring Steve Carrell and Channing Tatum chronicles the story of John du Pont and his relationship with the Schultz brothers during their time working with Du Pont’s Team Foxcatcher wrestling camp. The flick had a ton of buzz a while back but has since taken a back seat to films like Boyhood and Birdman. While the prosthetics used on Tatum and Carrell are a bit distracting I can’t find another flaw with the film. The performances are great and the story has this subdued quality that really grips you by the arm and makes you pay attention. Honestly, if I were to watch a scene out of context I’d think the film lacked any semblance of energy, but the entire film in context? Simply gripping. Carrel’s Du Pont is equal parts sad, weird, and ominious and Ruffalo brings that overly likeable persona he adds to each of his characters making the whole film that much more tragic (Sorry Channing, you were good but those two stole the show).

4. Guardians of the Galaxy- I wonder if this was what it was like to see Star Wars in a theater back in 1977? Guardians brings us to a whole new world full of such fun and wonder that it’s amazing there was any trepidation about the film being too out there. Hindsight is 20/20, I would never have guessed a film starring a talking raccoon and anthropomorphic tree would be one of the best of the year either. Calling a film “the total package” is, like most review tropes, overused and under deserved most of the time. Not here, nope, this is the definition. Chris Pratt brings more laughs than you could possibly expect, the action scenes are top notch…I haven’t seen such great sci-fi dogfighting choreography since Return of the Jedi, the story and writing are so good that you find yourself empathizing with the pain felt by that same talking Raccoon in a bar scene, and if you didn’t cry during the hyper-emotional “We are Groot” conclusion…well then I think you need to see a psychiatrist.

3. The Raid 2- Given how overly-verbose I was when talking about last years The Raid: Redemption it surprises me to have so little to say about the best martial arts movie of the last decade (taking the honors from its predecessor). The simple fact is you don’t need a lot of words to explain why this film is in my top of 2014 list. It surpassed the original. Point made.

2. The Imitation Game- Benedict Cumberbatch’s role as Alan Turing, the British born cryptographer who broke the Nazi’s enigma code and created the first computer while doing it, is both captivating and heart-breaking. Cumberbatch is at his best in the role pulling out that persona of an anti-social genius that has become his calling card. Some have criticized the film for just that, Cumberbatch playing the same old role, and in some sense they are right but he does it so well how can you blame him. Extra points to the filmmakers for making the film about his work and not the tragic conclusion to the story. It’s not that I think that angle shouldn’t be covered, quite the opposite, the way they used it as a final punch to the story made the impact that much more heartbreaking.

1. Captain America: The Winter Soldier- How could it not be #1? I’m in the minority that I absolutely loved Captain America: The First Avenger, but the follow up left me among the masses in our mutual love for Cap. The Russo brothers deliver an amazing piece of filmmaking, comic-book or not. Their use of practical effects and shying away from the big flashy CGI of most comic book films brings this movie right down to eye level adding a layer to it that I don’t think we’ve seen yet in the Marvel Universe. The far reaching impact on the Marvel universe at large is obvious but it’s the personal story and in your face blood and sweat action that brings Cap back to #1 and cements The Winter Soldier as my #1 film of the year. 

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Best of 2014: Julian's Top TV Pics

So as 2014 comes to a close it’s up to me to give what was the hottest, flyest, Trillest of Television of this past year. I’m going to give you the realness unlike the Emmys or Globes. I’ll keep it completely one hundred and tell you all I’m a snob. I like only the upper echelon of TV ( #nohyperbole). So enough with the preamble and let’s get to the list in no particular order:

Hannibal: Season 2

Much like last year there really isn’t anything on TV like Hannibal and what’s still amazing is that it’s on Network and NBC for that matter. Everything from Fuller’s suspense drama about the Hannibal Lecter before the events of Red Dragon. This season saw everything ramp up with a switch in the Hugh Dancy’s character Will Graham in relation to Mads Mikkelsen’s Hannibal Lecter. Laurence Fishburne’s Jack Crawford also got a great deal more to do this season in plot and development. The season also starts with a beautifully shot future event with Jack Crawford that we don’t get back to until the end. In all the things I watch on TV nothing is as excellently shot or paced for its genre. The tightness of the 13 episodes which is a rarity in network TV is allows it tell a great story even with its feel of times of a killer of the week scenario that lacks any concept of filler. If there is one TV that is criminally underappreciated it’s this one.

Game of Thrones: Season 4

Game of Thrones is my get right. I get hyped up when watching GoT like folks do when it’s Bowl Week for college football. I loved this season when Rocky and John were talking about the books and this Red Viper dude I was imaging what he was like, but man Pedro Pascal as Oberyn Martell just blew up the expectations. While everyone was calling him the Spanish dude from The Princess Bride I call him Puss N Boots because I be damn if wasn’t like a medieval Zorro (like if they make a new Zorro, he needs to be Antonio Banderas’s son as new Zorro). I loved this dude. He straight up stayed dissing Lannisters and I couldn’t get enough. This season also had Jon Snow on some LotR battles with giants and stuff, Tyrion going hard in the paint at court, Arya with the Hound on some Leon the Professional lifestyle, and cliffhanger after cliffhanger that had me throwing stuff and flipping tables like a mad man. Also some many bodies in this show, so many. Like you folks need to cop some HBO just for this at least.

True Detective: Season 1

See, I was easy to please on this one. I knew it was going to be hot once I saw that teaser ad last year during True Blood. I was like “Yo them my boys from EdTV! This is going to be GOLDEN!” and I wasn’t wrong. This insanely short season of a tight 8 episodes, all written by Nic Pizzolatto and all directed by Cary Fukunaga in an amazing manner, took over my circle of people by storm. McConaughey in full McConaissance mode with Harrelson in full Scottie Pippen mode on this performance of two Louisiana detectives trying to solve a series of murders that may or may not have a connection to the occult was some captivating TV. It seriously put Hollywood on smash. To me the whole show was robbed of many awards by Breaking Bad’s final half of its final season. From Cohle’s long speeches on his thoughts on the nature of the universe, Hart’s infidelity with younger women, mentions of a Yellow King to making flowers on people, True Detective was a welcome addition to a transitioning HBO line up that needed it and reasserted itself at the top of the TV show food chain challenged by AMC and Netflix.

Mad Men: Season 7 part 1

There is no show on TV right now that I love more than Mad Men. The journey of Don Draper has been a long one. This season started so beautifully with Don on the airplane going to LA and leaving the airport in that amazing slow mo shot as he walks to Megan getting out of the little blue convertible - that might be one of the best sequences on film of all of 2014. The path of the prodigal Don to reclaim his place at Sterling Cooper and Partners was a captivating one, along with the trials of the Peggy Olson; they were really some of the stand-out threads to watch. I really connected with Don and Peggy fixing their beautiful platonic friendship. I don’t know, I’m just biased; Don Draper is my spirit animal. But I really think those that haven’t seen it should really seek it out before the last 7 episodes start next year.

Black-ish: Season 1

You know it’s kind of crazy that right now this show is the only black sitcom on TV and is the first one in many years on network TV. Since I grew up in the 80s and '90s, black sitcoms were a staple of each network. From the Cosby Show and Different World to Family Matters and Fresh Prince to Martin and Living Single, it was basically taken for granted, and then all of the sudden they were all gone. It seemed as the amount of the sitcoms over all decreased, that black-centered ones fell by the wayside first and seemed to not even get a chance to make. Now we have Black-ish, coming out now in this weird state of Obama presidency where we see we are not in a postracial world; we have a show dealing with the blackness in a world where Gen Xers are raising children where what is black is changing in terms of ourselves and how others view us and we view them. The show has dealt with corporal punishment, being the only black person in the office, the nature of being a black geek, and even Black Santa Claus. The writing and the cast really sells the whole thing with Anthony Anderson and Tracey Ellis-Ross having great chemistry and timing for each joke. The children are great also, but the real scene stealing is done by Laurence Fishburne as Pops, the Granddad with the old school quips constantly checking Anderson’s Dre in his parenting ideas for his kids. He drops more gems than Columns people.

House of Cards: Season 2

Frank Underwood is the trillest, dopest, most charismatic bad guy on modern TV (sorry, Walter White). Frank is doing some of the most deplorable things you can do but you sit there binge watching this guy going so hard in the paint to achieve his goals of gaining power that you can’t help but root for this dude. All this on President’s Day weekend no less. Let’s not underplay the factor of Claire Underwood, the second best Claire in TV history in my opinion. She’s so ride or die yet running her own game in her own power play while the whole time they still Team Underwood. This season had everything including Major Dad as a bad guy. MAJOR DAD PEOPLE! I need to go get ready for the next season and get me a mean plate of ribs to go with it.

Boardwalk Empire: Season 5

Here is a show that I completely stopped watching because of a storytelling choice at the end of season 2. I still haven’t seen season 3 besides the finale and none of season 4 besides the commercials for episodes. With all that said MAN OH MAN is the last season really good. They did a smart thing with time jumping to the '31 during the Great Depression; that choice really added life to show in my opinion. At a point early on I was more interested in the stories of Lucky Luciano, Meyer Lansky, and Al Capone. This season really expanded that world with adding little things like Al Capone’s fall and Elliot Ness on his trail, and Joe Kennedy building his fortune through stocks which has great effects on the rise of his family in politics later on. Everything was wrapped up so nicely and I feel handled perfectly with the flashbacks to Nucky as a child and Nucky as a young man, where he made a deal with the devil for power. Out of all the shows that ended on HBO this year, this was the one that did with flying colors and fireworks at the end.

The Legend of Korra: Seasons 3 & 4

My final entry in this list is the animated show on Nickelodeon that by far broke the most rules, took all the risks you can take with a show on a network, and did some really surprising things even for an animated show. Korra had a really rough time since at a certain point it seem Nick didn’t support the show anymore. For them it seems an animated show about this teenage girl dealing with more mature battles than what Ang had to got to be a bit much for them. Season 3 of the show dealt with Korra facing a set of foes that were basically against the current structure of the world. They were against the governmental structure of the nations and planned to get rid of monarchies in charge and the United Republic of Nations, and wants in way to set up a free world that is more like anarchy. Their goal is to kill the Avatar forever. Korra had to deal with some serious ideas to deal with, stuff you couldn’t just punch in the face and defeat. The events of that season led directly into the final season, with Korra trying to come back after nearly dying and being utterly defeated, along with facing essentially the rise of a totalitarian government. I’m betting right now there is a ton of Tumblr think pieces on this show that you can read but you can just take away this: it’s good. Plain and simple it’s one of the best things that came on TV - it had humor, action, drama, romance and kung fu. IT HAS KUNG FU. This is a show that will be missed because I don’t think there will be nothing like this on TV.

That’s it folks. That’s my long list. I went over a bit, and for what it’s worth I didn’t see everything. This here can hold you down if you didn’t watch any of these, though. Get your binge watch on and also imagine me hating on the Golden Globe and the Emmys when my shows get hated on.

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