Review: 'Mortdecai,' starring Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Ewan McGregor

So look at here: We are starting out 2015 with a new Johnny Depp as a crazy character movie, huh? This time it’s supposedly for adults with the whole R-rating thing. I guess he just has no interest in playing someone regular again. Oh well, he was quite good at it at one point in time.

So what is this movie? It’s called Mortdecai. It’s based on a series of comedic thrillers from author Kyril Bonfiglioli that I clearly have not read. Also starring in this is Gwyneth Paltrow as Johanna Mortdecai, Ewan McGregor, Paul Bettany, and Olivia Munn. I guess their goal was to make a really funny British style comedy for American people but it seems like they failed on both sides here.

So what is Mortdecai about? It’s about this dandy-like British art smuggler by the name of Charlie Mortdecai (Depp). He bubbles around as he’s trying to get money to pay his 8 million pounds in taxes. A famous art restorer is murdered for this famous Goya painting and his old Oxford rival Inspector Martland (McGregor) asks him help them find the murderer and the painting. This takes Mortdecai and his manservant Jock Strapp (yes that is his name, and he's played by Paul Bettany) all over the world trying to find this painting. Total hijinks ensue ... I guess. The B-plot is Mortdecai having marital issues with Johanna, his wife, because of his new mustache that he loves so much and she hates.

You know the thing with this movie is that it’s not good but it really doesn’t suck enough to hate. Mortdecai just washes over you in uninterestingness. It seems like they were trying make something in the old Peter Sellers Pink Panther lane of comedy but it never catches on. In a lot of ways the pacing and the structure feels like it would be a really good animated movie. I’m thinking with the way the performances are and the costuming being so over the top, this would’ve been great as a cartoon. The movie really relies too much on weird facial expressions and goofy pratfalls. The cinematography really isn’t anything to talk about other than these silly over-CGI-ed transitions from city to city.

The real saving grace to this whole thing is Paul Bettany as Jock Strapp. He’s hilarious during the whole movie as Mortdecai's tough guy/ladies’ man manservant. Watching makes you think this story would be a lot more interesting if it were from his perspective rather than Mortdecai's.

Another funny thing with this movie is the two stars of it are American actors doing English accents, whereas everyone else is actually English; it's a bit disjointing. I don’t know if Gwyneth Paltrow’s accent always works.

But seriously, this movie really isn’t something to go out and see in the theater. It might be something fun to watch at home. As I said earlier, it isn’t good enough or bad enough to even get a real reaction. I think Mortdecai is something to pass on and instead just go catch up on Academy Award nominees.

Rating: 2 out of 5 Guttenbergs

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Jeff Goldblum Returns for 'Independence Day 2'; Berenice Bejo Joins 'After the Storm'; Rainn Wilson Leads 'The Boy'

* Jeff Goldblum is seeing a couple of his most cherished franchises coming back at the same time with Jurassic World and Independence Day 2. And while fans may hope he'll appear in both, that sadly won't be the case. While talking to Huffington Post about The Grand Budapest Hotel, Goldblum revealed that he won't be returning as Ian Malcolm in Jurassic World, which isn't a surprise considering it's basically a soft reboot. But he did confirm Roland Emmerich's previous statements that he would be back as David Lewinson in the Independence Day sequel, opening July 1st 2016. One out of two ain't bad.

* Berenice Bejo (The Past) will star in After the Storm, a psychological thriller from French actor/director, Safy Nebbou. Based on Arthur Dreyfus' novel Belle Famille, the story centers on "a mother who can’t accept the accidental death of her five-year old son and instinctively hides his body. After the child is declared missing, the police launches a massive investigation that sparks a media frenzy, comforting the mother in her denial."

* Rainn Wilson and Elijah Wood last paired up on the horror-comedy, Cooties, which I caught at Sundance and thought was pretty funny. Now they're back together again for another horror, titled The Boy. Wilson will star, along with Mike Vogel, David Morse,  Zuleikha Robinson and Bill Sage. The rather ambitious project put together by co-writer/director Craig MacNeill is viewed as a trilogy "tracking the childhood of a future serial killer, with installments depicting the character at ages 9, 14 and 18, respectively, and ending with his full transformation to an iconic mass murderer." Wood is on board as a producer, and this one sounds potentially awesome if done right. [TheWrap]

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Bruce Willis is 'Captive'; Aubrey Plaza Joins 'Mortdecai'; Elijah Wood 'Sets Fire to the Stars'

* Bruce Willis can still pack 'em in, especially for the most tired of action movies, and he's just added another one in hopes of getting more of your money. He'll star in the boringly-titled Captive (*yawn*), about "an American real estate magnate living in Brazil who is kidnapped and held for ransom at a prison cell hidden in a Sao Paolo landfill while a detective specializing in ransom cases tries to find him." Directing is Simon Brand, who helmed the mediocre "whodunnit" Unknown. [Variety]

* Production on the Johnny Depp-led comedy Mortdecai has moved to Los Angeles, and along with it a handful of promising new additions have been made to the cast. Aubrey Plaza, Jeff Goldblum, and Oliver Platt have joined Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ewan McGregor, Olivia Munn, and Paul Bettany in the adaptation of Kyril Bonfiglioli's books about the titular art dealer and part-time rogue who goes off on a quest involving a stolen painting and missing Nazi gold. David Koepp is directing, and with this cast Mortdecai could be Depp's best film in years.

* Elijah Wood will play famed poet John Michael Brinnin in the indie drama, Set Fire to the Stars.  Andy Goddard (Downton Abbey) will co-write and direct the story which chronicles Brinnin's friendship with Welsh writer Dylan Thomas, played by Celyn Jones. Thomas led a turbulent life led by his personal demons and a stormy marriage, and I suspect the bulk of the film will deal with how Brinnin tried to help his friend through it. Production begins later this month.

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Jeff Goldblum and Bill Pullman Back For 'Independence Day 2'; Will Smith Wanted For Cameo

Roland Emmerich is supposedly out on tour to promote this week's White House Down, but he's spending a good deal of time talking up the newly-confirmed Independence Day sequel. Unfortunately, a lot of the buzz he's generating has to do with its complete lack of Will Smith, because he's "too expensive" and a "marquee name", which still makes no sense considering its a summer blockbuster. Emmerich did say that half the cast would be made of newcomers and the other half familiar faces, and now a couple of those who are coming back have been confirmed.

While at a Q&A hosted by Movies.com, Emmerich revealed that Bill Pullman and Jeff Goldblum would be reprising their roles. Pullman was President Thomas J. Whitmore, the first cinematic Commander-in-Chief to be terrorized by Emmerich. It's unlikely he'll still be in office, but hey, maybe he instituted martial law after the last alien invasion? Goldblum, who may be returning to play an eccentric nerd in Jurassic Park 4, will come back and do the same here as computer specialist David Levinson. He also confirmed the film will have its flag-waving debut on July 3rd 2015.

As for Will Smith, the door is probably closed but Emmerich hopes he can come back for a cameo. Here's the quote from the Q&A moderator...

[Emmerich] elaborated a bit and said he still hasn’t presented Smith with the final product and hopes he can get him for a cameo to “pass the torch,” so to speak.

So there's still a chance, albeit a small one. Although the idea of Smith passing the torch is a disconcerting one, because you know exactly who he'd want to pass it to.

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Review: 'Jurassic Park 3D'

The year of 1993 was pretty awesome in terms of years in pop culture. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers started, Mortal Kombat II was released into arcades and politicians nightmares, and A Tribe Called Quest released 'Midnight Marauders'. But in film it should be of note that Steven Spielberg changed the game of film once again with Jurassic Park that summer. It was one of the most built up movies at the time from the release of the trailer at that point no had seen CGI that real before on screen or on anything else.  This film was a phenom, it was released during the times when a film would be in the theater for months on end and it wasn’t on home video in 10 weeks.  Now in 2013 on the 20^th anniversary of its release they are bringing it back in 3D.

So for those that might be a bit foggy on this twenty year-old film, Jurassic Park is a theme park owned by John Hammond (Richard Attenborough) CEO of InGen. After a mishap where a park employee dies on the job the investors wants experts to visit the park to certify if it’s safe. Hammond goes and finds paleontologist Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neil) and Dr. Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern). The investors are being represented by attorney Donald Gennaro who brings mathematician Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) who is also a chaos theorist to be the investors’ expert. The park is unlike any other park since its main attraction is that it has real live dinosaurs. As Hammond shows the scientists around and explains how they were able to bring dinosaurs back to life, Hammond’s two grandchildren join them in touring the entire park.

So really what do you say about this film that is a cinematic classic? What is there to critique now? Clearly the film stands the test of time and is also one of the most influential films in terms of the
history of special effects. The one thing that is very open to critique is the addition of 3D to the film. To tell the truth the 3D really adds nothing since it’s never consistent throughout the entire runtime. A lot of things that they tried to add depth to is really unnoticeable , as it's mostly in the viewer’s peripheral vision.

Another thing that’s an issue is that there are long segments of the film with really no noticeable 3D going on the screen. It makes it feel that this decision was rushed to do this and that even though it’s a quick money grab you’d hope that the people doing the conversion would take a bit more care to actually make it impressive and awesome enough to compare with the many other 3D conversions coming out all the time.

One great thing about seeing this re-released in 3D is the chance to not only re-experience it in the cinema again, or the first time for some people, is the chance to see this landmark film in IMAX. No
matter your feelings on post-converted 3D films being shown in the format it’s still really cool to see this film with dinosaurs on a screen that large. It makes something already larger than life even grander. This is a film that still holds up well after 20 years and even though the 3D really isn’t worth the price of admission the film itself totally is.

The film score

3D score

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