HBO to finally re-release 'The Wire' in HD format after Christmas

I don't know your life, but if you haven't watched The Wire, you should probably re-evaluate your choices. It's the greatest television show of all time, and if you somehow think The Sopranos or Breaking Bad or Mad Men is better, then you need to sit down and give The Wire, America's greatest televised novel, another run-through. And now that HBO is finally re-releasing the show in HD, you can.

Starting at 12 p.m. on Friday, December 26, HBO will make new-and-improved versions of the show's 60 episodes available for streaming on HBO GO and marathon viewing on HBO Signature. (You can check out the schedule for HBO Signature here; it looks like they're going to air the episodes in season-long blocks starting on Friday.) No news yet on whether the HD versions of the episodes will be available on Amazon, where the show is already streaming as part of HBO's deal with the shopping website, but let's hope that happens soon so even more people can enjoy the greatness and perfection and heartbreaking wonder of this show. (And theoretically, this also means that the full series will also eventually be available on Blu-ray ... which means I know exactly what I want next Christmas.)

To prepare yourself, watch this short teaser HBO released as an announcement. It is excellent, and every line should give a Wire fan chills - especially "We used to make shit in this country, build shit. Now we just put our hand in the next guy's pocket." Holy shit, this show was good. I know where I'll be Dec. 26, and where you should be, too.

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What’s Up with “The Walking Dead”: Recap of mid-season finale “Coda”

Well, that’s that, everyone. Another half-season of The Walking Dead is in the (or adapted from the, if you wanted to get technical) books; eight hours of television we alternately enjoyed and suffered through. There were some good times, right? That whole Daryl bowling ball zombie head thing! And some bad times, like finally axing Beth weeks – months, even – after unexpectedly letting her live.

I honestly gasped at that moment last night, because we’d been lulled into some false security, I think. Beth got to sing! She ran her underground hospital conspiracy! She pushed a man down an elevator shaft! This wasn’t like T-Dog, who had no personality and no subplots and no definable traits. This was Beth, who after all this time somehow wormed her stiched-up face into my heart. Or maybe I was just sad because of how sad Daryl was? Norman Reedus, you guys. He cannot be denied!

Aside from Beth’s death, what else happened in the mid-season finale, “Coda”? And what do those things mean for The Walking Deadwhen the show returns in February 2015? Let’s discuss!

+ “I can’t run anymore.” Oh, Father Gabriel! Finally you see the awful horror of the world around you, and finally you realize there’s no denying it anymore. Although he hasn’t had that much to do yet, I think Seth Gilliam – SGT. CARVER FOREVER – has been a strong addition to this cast – PROBABLY BECAUSE THE WIRE IS THE GREATEST SHOW OF ALL TIME – and I enjoy the emotionally wrought work he’s been doing here. It wasn’t very subtle in the scene when he found the Bible belonging to Gareth’s mom who Carol killed, and then came upon the Bob’s leg, which Gareth was killed for eating, but I thought the sentiment in that moment was effective. The old rules – organized religion, or anything organized at all – aren’t applicable. The chaos can’t be contained. And Father Gabriel’s “Let me live with it” and “It’s worth it” were important steps forward for his desire for survival, I think. (As was his quick thinking in herding Michonne, Judith, and Carl to his back office and through his escape hole when the zombies came crashing through the church. Sure, the problem started with that escape hole in the first place, but at least it saved them, too.)

+ “What happened to both of us – maybe it’s because we’re still the same.” How would you characterize what is going on between siblings Tyreese and Sasha? It’s not exactly a rift, I don’t think, but more of a moral separation. As brother and sister, there’s a natural comparison between the two of them, but The Walking Dead has been especially linking them together this season. As Tyreese admits to Sasha, he didn’t kill Gareth’s ally, Martin, when he and Carol came upon him in that cabin; Martin then went on to help Gareth in his kidnapping, crippling, and then eating of Bob, which eventually led to Bob’s death; which then inspired Sasha’s killing of Martin and her continued need for revenge since. It has made her reckless – why give her back to Lamson? – while it has made Tyreese wary (if you recall, the whole swapping prisoners idea was his, in comparison with Rick’s kill-them-all theory), and in this episode Sasha clearly lays out that she doesn’t want to be like Tyreese anymore. She doesn’t have it in her. How much further she’ll move away from her brother morally will be something to watch for when the season returns, I think.

+ “He was a good man.”Yes, yes, maybe Officer Bob Lamson was a good man, as practically everyone at the hospital kept telling Rick and Co. He was one of the good guys! He was one of the last remaining good cops! Well, in a nice nod to his former career, that didn’t stop Rick from mowing Lamson down in a police cruiser and then shooting him in the head. You lie to Rick and you try to kill one of his people, and that’s what happens to you.

Although, I honestly couldn’t figure out exactly what the writers were trying to do by constantly reiterating the idea that Lamson was a good person: Was it to show how poor the judgment was of all the cops under Dawn’s command? Was he such a capable liar that he had convinced other people of his goodness? Or had he really been a worthwhile person once, and just driven to do bad by his circumstances – like so many of the other characters we’ve met? I’m probably overthinking this, but I’m just surprised that actor Maximiliano Hernandez (so good on The Americans!) would be such a one-and-done character. I don’t get it. (And I hope we don’t have such confusing, repetitive writing for ancillary characters when the show returns in February.)

+ “He lied. He can’t stop it. Washington isn’t the end.” The admission of Eugene’s lie prompts Abraham and Co. to return to the church in their giant firetruck, taking out all the walkers trying to kill Carl, Michonne, Judith, and Father Gabriel, and reuniting them with Glenn, Maggie, Tara, etc. – and unfortunately giving Maggie the hope that her sister Beth was still alive. I’ve complained often in these recaps about how Maggie doesn’t seem to be mourning her sister at all, and how that has seemed like a major oversight for her character development over these past eight episodes, but I thought this hour finally made up for all that was lacking. Lauren Cohan’s facial expressions! First, the delirious, unbelievable joy when Michonne told her that Beth was alive, and then the overwhelming, traumatic collapse when she saw Daryl carrying out Beth’s body – both were nicely done. A little more concern during all the time Beth was missing would have been appreciated, but Cohan did admirably in “Coda.” And … with Carol back and the church destroyed … they’re going to go back on the road for D.C., right? I mean, why stay in or around Atlanta at this point? Might as well get moving.

+ “Nothing’s OK.”Oh, Beth! You lived far longer than any of us would have expected, and in this terrible hospital storyline with terrible Dawn (a monotonous, clichéd character and an awfully one-note performance from actress Christine Woods), you did the best you could. You killed a rapist and a senior-citizen abuser and then you tried to kill Dawn, and although that didn’t work out so well for you, at least you’ll be properly mourned by Maggie and Carol and Daryl, who clearly matters the most, not only because he’s the dreamiest but because he killed Dawn in retaliation for you. Isn’t that what real friends are for?

I never really bought the Daryl/Beth relationship as I do the Carol/Daryl one, but overall I liked how the show paired him with these two women who seemed weak in comparison but in some ways were far more formidable, clever, and resourceful than Daryl could be. And although Beth lingered too long as the young, doe-eyed, innocent one of the group, I think her loss will matter – I could see it compelling Rick et al. to think about leaving Atlanta, to consider whether compromise is really worth it when lives could be lost, and to reassess their strategies and methods. Maybe things would be different if they hadn’t gone with Tyreese’s plan?

(And just one final thought: Yes, it’s very clear that Dawn was set up as a parallel to Rick, what with being a leader who essentially took over the group from their former head honcho who was becoming unstable – ahem, Shane – and who had a background in law enforcement and people doubting her abilities and had made some poor choices. Some of her dialogue, like her speech about how she doesn’t need people to love her but to respect her, was also clearly along this vein. But the character was written so superficially that any layers of depth were indecipherable, and I ultimately find her more irritating than anything else.)

And some final thoughts before we part for six or so weeks:

+ This was an episode full of poorly written dialogue for Dawn and the hospital people, like her “You don’t get to threaten me” to O’Donnell; “You’re a cop killer” to Beth; and the HILARIOUSLY BAD TIME that other annoying officer told Beth to “Stay in your lane, bitch!” Because that is how police officers would talk.

+ As much as I grew to like Beth, there are a lot of eyeroll-worthy moments with her in “Coda,” since the writers often saddled her with obvious lines that were meant to be vaguely philosophical. The episode’s worst example was probably her “Everyone uses people to get what they want” to Dawn, which, OF COURSE THEY DO. IT IS THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. WHAT ELSE DO YOU EXPECT.

+ Did Dawn really need to whisper “I knew you’d be back” to Noah? Was that pathetic power trip that imperative to her stupid, small life? She really was the human embodiment of melted gum stuck on the bottom of my new overpriced dress shoes on a humid summer day – i.e., the fucking worst.

+ “You can stay.” Oh, thanks, terrible minion of Dawn’s, for letting us stay in this hospital of despair and murder! Fuck no, Rick and Co. are getting out of there. They have a zombie-infested church they would rather call home, thank you very much.

+ Morgan returns ... again! I guess he’s been wandering around the forest this whole time like a dumbass, because only when everyone leaves the school and church does he arrive at those two places, laugh hysterically at his own attempt to pray, and then spot the map Abraham left for Rick that includes their route to D.C. If Rick and his people do bail on Atlanta and decide to hit the road, perhaps we’ll finally get that reunion with Morgan – and affirmation that Noah is his nephew?

+ “Let’s blow this joint. Go save your sister.” Tara is so weird, but at least I finally remembered her name! And hopefully I don’t forget it by February 8. See you all then!

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What’s Up with “The Walking Dead”: Recap of episode “Crossed”

Hello! It’s been a while, my fellow Walking Dead watchers, and I apologize for keeping you hanging without a recap for the episode “Consumed” last week. What can I say? All of that emotion between Carol and Daryl had me in a tizzy! They are best friends, you guys, and I came into this week’s episode very concerned about the lengths to which Daryl would go to save Carol.

So that was a major question heading into this week’s “Crossed,” but The Walking Dead writers also answered a few more questions for us: What is going on with Abraham and Co.? What about Beth and her extremely boring adversary, Dawn? How is Sasha’s grieving of Bob going? And will Father Gabriel ever understand that zombies WILL EAT YOU if you don’t do anything to stop them? Important questions, all of which were answered … well, somewhat.

“Crossed” was clearly a setting-up-stakes episode before this upcoming Sunday’s mid-season finale, “Coda” (our last new episode until February!), but that’s ultimately fine. The narrative urgency of previous weeks was somewhat lost by checking in with everyone, and the various subplots’ timelines were confusing (hasn’t it only been a couple of hours for Abraham and his group, but days for Carol and Daryl?), but we’ve got clear problems to be solved for next week. Carol needs to be saved. Sasha needs to figure out her shit. Father Gabriel needs to get it together. And if Daryl somehow tops his zombie-head-as-a-bowling-ball-weapon gimmick (here, watch this gif!), that would be impressive and great!

Anyway, let’s cover the various things that happened in “Crossed.” Even though we all know it doesn’t get better than Daryl’s resourcefulness, honestly.

+ “We all owe Carol.” “I owe her more.” Oh, Rick. Always nice to see some humbleness from him, especially when it’s coupled with ruthlessness – notice the cold way he mentions cutting a guard’s throat to rescue Beth and Carol. His plan is questioned by Tyreese, and then eventually brought down by Daryl (who agrees that Tyreese’s idea of taking prisoners first and then trading for Beth and Carol instead of just going in there and killing people right away), but as we see how rapidly Rick’s people get overwhelmed (why would you turn your back to your hostage, Sasha?!), maybe they should have listened to the onetime officer Grimes. Their attempt to talk their way into getting Beth and Carol might work … maybe. But only because Dawn is so ineffectual, which leads to …

+ “I thought you were weak. You’ve proved me wrong.” What is Dawn’s endgame with Beth, exactly? First she accuses Beth of killing Carol by exclaiming her outrage at them taking her off the life support machines; then she gives Beth the medicine cabinet key to save her. What the what? My excitement over how rapidly The Walking Dead handled the Garth and Terminus storyline has been steadily tempered by how long we’re spending in this Atlanta hospital with Dawn, especially since she’s utterly unbelievable as a hardass leader. Maybe it’s the actress or maybe it’s just the shallowness of the character, but I find her not at all compelling. True, the hospital has given us some opportunities to see Beth’s adaptability – love her bribing that patient with strawberries as a way to get the attention off her while she raids the medicine cabinet for Carol – but still, why spend so much time on this subplot? We get it, people in authority positions turn into jerks. No surprise there, given what we saw happen all those seasons ago with Shane. Dawn hasn’t exemplified anything we haven’t seen before, so here’s hoping next week wraps up this hospital storyline for good.

+ “Get over yourself.”Maggie, showing some spine! You know, as much as Beth is holding her own in the hospital, Maggie is holding her own with Abraham; nice to see the separated sisters each being self-actualized this week. Since Abraham punched Eugene in the face and knocked him out, Maggie has stepped into being responsible for the fake scientist, while Abraham is doing some kneeling vigil thing by the side of the road, refusing water and contact with anyone. It’s when he threatens Rosita (is that any way to treat a woman who will have sex with you while your creepy mulleted friend watches, Abraham?!) that Maggie refuses to put up with his shit any longer (the delivery of “Sit down or I’ll put you down” was nicely ice cold), and I liked that they stayed together while Glenn, Tara, and Rosita went off to forage.

Of all the subplots, this might have been the most hopeful this week: Abraham finally drinks the water Maggie gives him; Eugene finally wakes up; we finally get some Rosita backstory (“He saw what I could do, and he wanted my help,” she says of meeting Abraham; it would be more touching if we actually saw what Rosita could do, though); Glenn’s resourcefulness returns (catching fish like a boss!); and Tara’s weirdness finally clicks, as she revels in finding a yo-yo and nicknames their group GREATM. I can finally remember her name because she finally has a personality, you guys!

+ “Are you going to take the cross, too?” “If we need it.” Father Gabriel continues his self-hatred parade this week, fucking up his fingers as he obsessively tries to clean the blood from Gareth and Co. off the floorboards; arguing with Michonne when she tries to persuade him that “the things that we do, they’re worth it”; and eventually cutting himself an escape hole through the floor of the boarded-up church where Carl, Michonne, and Judith are hiding out until Rick, Tyreese, Daryl, and Sasha return from the hospital, theoretically with Carol and Beth in tow. But since Father Gabriel is inherently useless, he lands on a nail and basically tracks zombies to him through his blood loss – and then he stops himself from killing one who attacks him because she is wearing a cross.

Dammit, Father Gabriel! Your Christianity is doing nothing for you! Just let it go! Otherwise you are not long for this post-apocalyptic world, my friend (and yet I want Seth Gilliam to continue being on this show, because Sgt. Carver forever).

+ “You’re still a cop.” “No, the real ones are all gone.” Did you recognize Officer Bob Lamson, the one who Noah identifies as a good guy, who chats with Rick, and who smashes Sasha’s head into the window? If so, then you don’t watch FX’s The Americans, and you should! That is actor Maximiliano Hernandez, and he is really good, and let’s hope he sticks around The Walking Dead a bit longer. We’ll see how that shakes out next week, I suppose.

And some final things I liked:

+ “It might work. This will work.” I appreciate Rick’s conviction when Tyreese suggests his less-violent plan, but it’s a sign of Rick’s open-mindedness that he goes for it. Nevertheless, his pragmatic ruthlessness is my favorite thing.

+ “They were liars and murderers.” “Just like us?” Oh, Father Gabriel, your existential babble does not work on Michonne! She will not stand for this! Just don’t argue with her and you’ll be fine.

+ “Do you want me to shoot you?” “Thought I did.” Welcome back, Abraham. May your facial hair continue to thrive in this post-Eugene-admission landscape.

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What’s Up with “The Walking Dead”: Recap of episode “Self-Help”

OK, so “Slabtown” kind of sucked. The Beth-entric episode from last week (which I didn’t recap because I’m the worst, I know) was generally pretty repetitively doomy and gloomy until the last-second Carol reveal, so I had higher hopes for this week’s episode of The Walking Dead, “Self-Help.” “Self-Help” was better, I think, but mainly because of that reveal: Of COURSE Eugene is a liar! Duh!

Solid step forward, Walking Dead; if this season has been doing anything right, it’s the pacing of these episodes, which are moving along pretty nicely. Gareth and his people—dead! Beth—hopefully about to get rescued by Carol and Daryl! And now we have Eugene, admitting that his entire story is bullshit. And we’re only five episodes into the season! I’m overcome with happiness, guys.

But, did Abraham’s back-story in “Self-Help” work? I’m not entirely convinced; I think there was a vagueness that was ineffective. Maybe I wasn’t paying full attention—totally a possibility—but in the comics (SPOILER ALERT) it’s very clear that Abraham had a wife, daughter, and son, all of whom were hiding out in the grocery store together. But his wife and daughter were raped while his son was forced to watch, and then when Abraham beat the perpetrators to death with canned goods, his wife and children run away from him (hence the note “Don’t try to find us), only to die a few steps outside of the grocery store. Traumatizing shit!

And I don’t think the flashbacks here fully conveyed all of that; we got the Abraham beating people to death and we got his family running away from him and then him finding their bodies, but without the precursor—without them being terrified of how he was protecting them—I don’t know if it had the same impact. Because the point here was that Abraham thinking he’s doing the right thing can very easily turn into the wrong thing, right? But that wasn’t so clear.

Anyway, let’s talk about some other things that happened in “Self-Help.” (Yes, we’ll get to the sex eventually, you perv.)

+ “I’m not a scientist! I don’t know how to stop it. I’m not a scientist. I know I’m smarter than most people. I know I’m a very good liar. And I know I needed to get to D.C.” For all of you that have been thinking, “Uh, that guy with the awful mullet and the hick accent cannot be our only hope,” good job, you were right. Which makes you smarter than practically everyone on this show! But when you’re desperate and when you’re looking for absolution, I guess you’ll go with anything. So after weeks of dragging Abraham and Rosita along with his scheme, and then involving Rick et al., and watching people die to protect him, Eugene finally comes clean.

Was it his burgeoning friendship with Tara that did it? Abraham’s increasing violence and determined craziness? A mixture of both? Regardless, Eugene is now revealed as being full of shit, which puts the group in an awful position. Do they continue on toward D.C., even though there is nothing actually for them there? Do they turn around and try to go back to Rick’s group? Do they stay put, hoping that Rick’s group will catch up with them in time? Is Maggie ever going to acknowledge that her sister Beth is still missing? Lots of questions to consider.

+ “I know it sucks and it’s scary, but it’s time to be brave.” I still can barely remember Tara’s name, but I liked her in this episode as a parallel to Eugene. She too once aligned with someone she thought could protect her (the Governor), only to realize that such an alliance didn’t entirely sap her of responsibility in this new world order; I think the show has done a nice job aligning her storyline with Eugene’s, someone who has also made poor choices to protect themselves. Granted, I thought it was strange that she would agree to keep his secret of blowing up the school bus since that almost got them all killed, but I like whatever weird burgeoning friendship the two of them have. It will undoubtedly get affected by Eugene’s telling the truth, but for now, I think it works as a way to develop both of them a bit further.

+ “I just need to know you’re good.” So I guess this season so far has been positioning Glenn as the cool-headed second-in-command for any leader that comes along? Because back when he was with Rick, he was consistently concerned about where Rick’s headspace was and how that would affect the group moving forward, and now he’s doing the same thing with Abraham—checking up on him as a way, perhaps, to ensure that he and Maggie won’t be in danger moving forward. But ultimately I think it’s a disappointing way to use Glenn as a character, since he used to be such a resourceful badass. His relationship with Maggie changed him in the comics, sure (especially because in them, Carol’s daughter Sophia is still alive, and when Carol dies, Maggie and Glenn basically adopt Sophia as their own child, which is clearly a storyline that has been scrapped for the show since Carol is so amazing now and Sophia is dead), but I don’t know if this particular use of Glenn is the best. He could be more of a take-charge guy, not the one who checks whether the real take-charge guy is actually going to take charge. Blergh.

+ “He’s harmless.”Um, how is Rosita so OK with Eugene watching her and Abraham have sex? Granted, this episode gave Rosita a lot more to do than ever before—She can speak! She isn’t afraid to argue with Abraham! She knows things about cars!—and now she finally has a more reasonable outfit. But I still shudder at the pathetic creepiness of Eugene watching them going at it. How could you stay in the mood? How many times has that happened before? THIS IS A TERRIBLE RABBIT HOLE OF GROSS QUESTIONS, I WILL STOP NOW.

+ “About time things started going our way.” Yeah, I would say Eugene using the pressurized water to essentially liquefy all those zombies is a pretty solid win for our group. Definitely one of the most solid examples of zombie-gore effects so far this season.

And finally, some odds and ends:

+ “Maybe I’ll let you shave me down all over.” Real sexy, Abraham.

+ “We’re friends. We have each other’s backs. That’s it, that’s how it works.” Tara is so optimistic; eventually it has to bite her in the ass.   

+ And here, have a bunch of Eugene’s interactions with other people, because they are great:

Tara, about Eugene’s mullet: “Is it your source of power?”

Eugene: “That’s classified.”

Glenn: “Why the hair?”

Eugene: “Because I like it.”

Eugene, discussing his mullet before he tells the truth: “T. Brooks Ellis, director of the The Human Genome Project, he told me my hair made me look, and I quote, ‘like a fun guy.’”

Eugene, discussing the mullet after he tells the truth: “I also lied about T. Brooks Ellis liking my hair!”

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What’s Up with “The Walking Dead”: Recap of episode “Four Walls and A Roof”

Color me impressed! The fifth season of The Walking Dead is turning out to be pretty solid, and by that I mean, no more wasting time with drawn-out subplots that go nowhere. Now the subplots go somewhere! We are moving through them at a rapid clip! I’m fairly impressed—even as I mourn a little bit for Bob/D’Angelo Barksdale/Lawrence Gilliard Jr. He is great, and if you need to remind yourself of that, just go back and watch his speech about The GreatGatsby from The Wire. YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT.

But let’s turn back to this show and leave discussions of The Wire, the Greatest Show of All Time, for another day. So what went down in “Four Walls and a Roof,” besides Bob’s untimely, but well-handled, death? Let’s discuss!

+ “You idiots! I’ve been bitten, you stupid pricks! I’m tainted meat! Tainted meat! You ate tainted meat!” The opening sequence of this episode was, let me be clear, flat-out great. From how nauseating it was to juxtapose close-ups of the rotting zombie faces with the grease-covered ones of Gareth’s people gnawing on Bob’s flesh, to their shock and disgust once Bob, amid peals of maniacal laughter, showed them his bite—it was excellently done, totally impactful, impressively revolting.

“Join us or feed us,” Gareth said to Bob as they ate his leg, but once they realize what they’ve done, they immediately dump Bob back in front of the church. (Another plot point taken directly from the comics, whereas last week, I thought maybe the show would have Morgan save Bob. I was wrong!) And so Bob tells the group what happened to him—“They were eating my leg right in front of me, like it was nothing. All proud. Like they had it all figured out.”—setting in motion their attack on Gareth and a farewell between himself and Sasha. When Sasha hands the knife to Tyreese so he could finish off Bob? That was one of the more emotional scenes that has been on this show in a long time.

+ “I already made you a promise.” As we’ve discussed before, the primary question of The Walking Dead is whether humanity and mercy have a place in a society where survival is a paramount concern, and finally this season we’re seeing Rick realize that maybe they don’t. We saw that mentality once they left Terminus and he said they should go back and kill Gareth, and we see it this week when that plan comes to fruition, as Rick, Michonne, Sasha, and Abraham kill Gareth and his people, who are on their knees and begging for mercy, on the floors of Father Gabriel’s church. Because I am a terrible person, I had a grim smile on my face the entire time for this—because angry determined Rick is my favorite kind of Rick.

Here we are, then: the point of no return, when Rick and his people have gone from simply trying to protect themselves to now going on the offensive. That doesn’t seem to sit well with Glenn, Maggie, or Girl Whose Name I Can’t Remember, as they don’t partake in the killing and stick with their decision to leave for D.C. (Or with Tyreese, who watched from the door of Father Gabriel’s office, and was shocked by what his sister did.) But eventually everyone crumbles a little bit, right? Carl was once a kid; now he’s a killer. Father Gabriel was once a man of God; then he turned his own constituents away. This world will change you. So I guess the question now is, how will it change Glenn and Maggie, who up until now have been confident in their love and tried to live through compromise instead of combat? What will happen to them on their way to D.C.? I wonder.

+ “I locked the doors … Entire families calling my name as they were torn apart, begging me for mercy.” Oh yeah, speaking of Father Gabriel—yup, he refused to let people take refuge in the church, instead locking the doors and not opening them for anyone. That would cause a lot of guilt, I would imagine. Seth Gillam played the admission really well, I thought, and I like how in every episode, it seems like some member of Rick’s group is tearing away his faith, bit by bit. This episode, it came from Maggie, who coolly, almost resentfully told him “It’s just four walls and a roof” when Father Gabriel was shocked that Rick killed Gareth’s people in “the Lord’s house.”  

But—and yes, I’m going back to The Wire here—Gillam is a really good actor, and he can do a lot more than just guilty cowering in the back of a church office. Father Gabriel is kind of a minor character in the comics who flirts with insanity driven by his self-hatred for what he’s done, but I hope the TV show changes him a bit to give Gillam more to do. He is SO GOOD, you guys, and he deserves more. Just saying.

+ “He will make the dead die, and the living will have this world again.” OK, so I’m kind of cheating, and this quote from Abraham about Eugene was actually from last week’s episode. But the D.C. caravan of Abraham, Rosita, and Eugene gets two new additions after this week with Maggie and Glenn, who also decide to head to D.C.—they agree to go before Rick, Michonne, Sasha, and Abraham go HAM on Gareth and his remaining people, but it’s clear that Maggie and Glenn (who do not take part in the killing) are shocked by what Rick is capable of. So they and the Girl Whose Name I Can’t Remember (Tara? Lily? I KEEP FORGETTING) decide to head off to D.C., and leave a map behind so Rick will know their route. Maybe Rick et al. will follow them, but I think we all know that “maybe” here means “definitely.”

+ “Just look at her and tell me the world isn’t going to change.” Some of Bob’s final words to Rick are about Judith and the hope and optimism of youth, but I think his quote can go either way: the world can change for the better, sure, but it can also change for the worse. And given that we still don’t know what happened to Beth, and that Daryl’s return this week seems to be against his will (who is he motioning to come out of the woods?), I think we can safely assume things are going to get way shittier before they ever get better.

And some final thoughts:

+ So not only was Gareth awful, but he was also super sexist (or at least played that up to Bob), which I guess makes sense for a guy who looks like he would be a date rapist in another life: “The grey-haired queen bitch who killed my mom … can’t wait to try her. I like women better. Most of us do. … Sasha? I think pretty people taste better, too.” Shudder and ugh.

+ You have to love Rick for being so practically minded that when Bob tells him about how Gareth ate his leg, Rick’s first question is, “Did they have Daryl and Carol?” The hierarchy of the group is clear, and with Tyreese out of killing commission, Rick needs his top people—but even still, that seemed like a pretty heartless thing to say to Bob. Maybe work on your bedside manner, Rick.

+ “We need each other for this. … We can through all of it together.” So hopeful, Glenn! How long will that hope last?

+ “I should forgive them? For hurting him? For trying to kill us? What the hell is wrong with you?” I hadn’t really paid attention to Sasha as a character before (since she is original to the show, and hasn’t gotten as much character development as someone like Daryl) but I think actress Sonequa Martin-Green did a really solid job this episode, especially while sparring with her brother Tyreese as he encouraged her to move past Bob’s injury. Watch her face as she kills Gareth’s group—there’s rage there, but when everyone is dead, sadness and resignation and shock, too. Nicely played.

+ For everyone worrying about Michonne’s katana, yup, she has it back. And for as much as she told Rick last week that she doesn’t miss it, I think her face once she wields it in the final minutes of this episode suggests otherwise.

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What’s Up with “The Walking Dead”: Recap of episode “Strangers”

So … anyone else have trouble eating after last night’s The Walking Dead episode, “Strangers”? I must admit that it kept me from my usual late-night snack, even though the storyline pretty accurately mirrors what happens in the comics—so that’s great! Anyone who reads this weekly recap, or the one I also do for Game of Thrones, knows what a fanatic I can be when it comes to sticking with the source material. As in, the comics were popular because they were good, and that’s how you got a TV show, and maybe your writers should be better when adapting that original text. Just. Saying.

But so far, this fifth season has been pretty good, cannibalism and all! Let’s talk about the best things that happened in last night’s “Strangers,” and what they could mean for the season moving forward.

+ “Didn't start that way, eating people. It evolved into that. We evolved. We had to. And now, we’ve devolved into hunters. I told you, I said it—can’t go back, Bob. I just hope you understand that nothing happening to you now is personal. … We would have done this to anybody. We will. But at the end of the day, no matter how much we hate all this ugly business, a man’s gotta eat. … If it makes you feel any better, you taste much better than we thought you would.”

So, Gareth chewing on that hunk of meat—Bob’s flesh—RIGHT IN FRONT OF BOB is probably the best, grossest, most jarring thing The Walking Dead has ever done, and it’s clear that season five is finally getting into the fucked-up nitty-gritty of this apocalypse. The Governor being a rapist—the comics went there, the TV show didn’t. Terrible body-horror things happening to some of our favorite protagonists—the comics went there, the TV show didn’t. But now the show is building out the Hunters storyline from the comic books by adding in the location Terminus; swapping out the leader of the Hunters, Chris, for the leader of Terminus, Gareth; and swapping out Dale (who is already dead on the show), who was kidnapped by the Hunters and had his leg chopped off for food, with Bob, who was enjoying a nice little romance with Tyreese’s sister Sasha before he gets grabbed in the middle of the night.

Who is to blame for this? Well, clearly Gareth and Co., like the Governor, weren’t going to let Rick’s disruption of their idyllic society go. Sure, the Governor ruled with an iron fist and Gareth and his family were eating people, but everyone has their own version of paradise, right? And well, Rick’s group did pass on going back and killing Gareth, even though Rick wanted to. And Tyreese didn’t have the gumption to kill Gareth ally Martin, even though Carol wanted him to. And so every act of theoretical mercy that the group does comes back on them here, with the Hunters circling around them in search of meat.

Although, quick question: Bob clearly got bitten during that raid on the food bank, right? And so, Gareth and Co. are eating slowly-zombifying flesh, right? Because that is kind of great. TAKE THAT, CANNIBALS, YOU DICKS.

+ “Not so fast.”Lots of romantic stuff on display this week, as Maggie makes sure to grab some kisses with Glenn and make gooey eyes at him after he discovers three silencers during a supply run (a nice reminder that in the comics and in the early seasons of of this show, Glenn was depicted as the best procurer of resources), and Bob plays cutesy little games with Sasha as they walk around the forest and happily share some pecks.

But all that optimism from Bob—“This is a nightmare, and nightmares end”—clearly highlighted that shit was about to get real bad for him, and so by the end of the episode he’s possibly bitten by a zombie and definitely eaten by Gareth et al. Dammit, Bob! Maybe if you had been less happy, you wouldn’t be dinner for assholes!

+ “I don’t want to talk about it. I just need to forget.” What exactly is eating Carol? Daryl desperately wants to know, asking her about her weirdness and solitary mood numerous times during “Strangers.” She won’t open up, even when Rick asks to join her and acknowledges everything she’s done for them, and it even seems like she’s going to bail on the group by jumping into a car she and Daryl fixed up and leaving in the middle of the night.

But Daryl isn’t going to let his bestie/mother figure/crush/WHAT ARE THEY disappear like that (not when “Someone’s watching,” as he noted earlier, even though none of them knew it was Gareth’s people, hunting them). So when he sees a car zip by with a cross on the back—just like the one that took Beth—he encourages Carol to go with him to find her instead of bailing on the group. So off they race into the night, which will probably be the beginning of many weird fan-fictions for Carol and Daryl.

Will Carol eventually tell Daryl about the sisters who died on her and Tyreese’s watch? Maybe. It seems like Tyreese doesn’t want to—I mean, he literally says, “We don’t need to tell them about the girls; I don’t want to”—and is instead focusing on spending time with Judith as a way to make up for those two little girls. But at some point, even if the truth comes out, will it even matter? Those people died, and Rick and his people lived. It’s just that black and white.

+ “I keep to myself. Nowadays, people are just as dangerous as the dead, don't you think?”Welcome to The Walking Dead, Seth Gilliam! Now the third alumnus of The Wire to join this cast (Chad Coleman, who was Dennis “Cutty” Wise on The Wire, is Tyreese here, and Lawrence Gilliard Jr., who was D’Angelo Barksdale on The Wire, is Bob here), the onetime Sgt. Carver steps into the role of Father Gabriel Stokes, a man of the cloth with a weird sense of humor and a profound inability to protect himself.

After being saved by Rick and Carol and promptly failing Rick’s test for entry into the group, Father Gabriel lets them know about a nearby food bank, where slimy, rotting, water-logged zombies attack the group as they gather up canned food. It’s a nice tip—but do Father Gabriel’s claims of holing up in the church for the past year, alone, really hold up? Rick notices a bunch of empty, and hidden, canned food; Carol notices pages and pages of journal entries, obsessively repeating THOU SHALT NOT KILL; and on the outside of the church, Carl notices deep gauge marks, possibly from people trying to get in, and the words “YOU’LL BURN FOR THIS” carved into the side of the church.

You can figure out what Father Gabriel did, right, what he won’t tell Rick and Co. about? It’s pretty cowardly but it’s also pretty obvious, and all that talk about Father Gabriel only confessing his sins to God—well, he has a lot of confessing to do.

+ “We’re strong enough that we can still help people. … We’re strong enough that we don’t have to be afraid. And we don’t have to hide.” A nice little speech to Carl to his father Rick, but how long will that good-heartedness and open-handedness last once they find out what Gareth and his group did to Bob, and what they plan to do to everyone else in Rick’s group? Being carved up for someone else’s dinner would probably put an end to Carl’s willingness to help others, I would think. There’s no real bouncing back from that.

+ “Survivors … is that all you want to be?” Abraham continues advocating for Eugene somehow being a super-awesome scientist with a super-awesome way to save them all that is in super-awesome Washington, D.C., and while everyone is in a canned-food coma after their food-bank-supplied feast, he makes his stump speech for the Mullet. Full of salty, probably stale calories for the first time in what seems like weeks, everyone agrees that their goal will be the District.

But the suspicious behavior from Abraham and Rosita, possibly the least developed character on this show since T-Dog (guys, remember T-Dog?!), makes me think there is more to this Eugene-is-our-savior storyline from their group. I don’t know; I just feel like characters who are best identified by their mustache, hairstyle, and midriff probably shouldn’t be trusted.

And some other final thoughts:

+ I really enjoyed how badly Father Gabriel failed Rick’s test, so here it is, excerpted in its entire glory:

Father Gabriel: “The word of God is the only protection I need. I called for help; help came.”

Rick: “How many walkers have you killed?”

Father Gabriel: “Not any, actually.”

Rick: “How many people have you killed?”

Father Gabriel: “None.”

Rick: “Why?”

Father Gabriel: “Because the Lord abhors violence.”

Rick: “What have you done? We’ve all done something.”

Father Gabriel: I am a sinner. I sin almost every day. But those sins—I confess them to God, not strangers.”

+ Does Michonne miss her katana? Not so much. But she does miss Andrea and Herschel, which, no thanks, I’ll pass on those feelings.

+ Anyone figure out the deal with the signs carved into the trees? Morgan, after coming upon the NO SANCTUARY sign for Terminus, sees the other signs in the bark and goes deeper into the forest. But when Gareth’s group hits Bob on the head and drags him away from Father Gabriel’s church, that happened in front of a tree with another sign carved into it, like a flipped horizontal and upside down capital letter L. I’m not sure what they mean, but I’m also very bad at any kind of picture-related puzzle. (Oh, and Morgan is totally going to save Bob, right?) 

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What’s Up with “The Walking Dead”: Recap of season five premiere “No Sanctuary”

Welcome back to The Walking Dead, everyone! Here we are in October, starting a bit earlier than The Walking Dead normally does (seasonfour premiered on October 21, 2013, and ended a brief six months ago on March 31), but right back in the thick of it. I have been pretty honest about my growing resentment and dislike of The Walking Dead over the past few seasons (WHY DID THEY HAVE TO RUIN ANGELA?!), and I’ll be pretty honest now, too: “No Sanctuary” was not that bad! I mean, still overwrought as all hell. But Daryl and Carol, you guys! Daryl and Carol!

So let’s get right into it with the five things you need to know about “No Sanctuary.” Ready, set, go.

+ “You do that?”Yeah, Rick, Carol TOTALLY did that. Our favorite take-no-bullshit character handles all the business this week, capturing a Terminus ally, learning from him what Gareth and the rest of Terminus cronies plan to do with her friends, and then straight tearing up the place to free them. Blowing up a gas tank to cause a huge explosion that would ruin Terminus’s defenses, allowing the walker herd to spill through? Yes. Gathering up supplies from Terminus’s creepy room of plundered goods? Yes. Killing the crazy lady in the candle room and giving zero shits about her tragic backstory? Yes. And finally, sauntering out of Terminus and back into the woods to accept a very loving hug from Daryl and endless gratitude from Rick et al.? Yes, Carol. YES. If this show has shortchanged characters like Andrea and the Governor, then they have utterly revamped Carol, who in the comics was a put-upon housewife who eventually died pretty pathetically. This version of Carol is one of the best things the show has accomplished.

+ “They’re screwing with the wrong people” is still the worst line ever—come on, AMC, can’t you just say “fucking with”? You are a cable channel! But Rick redeems himself by going fully vicious with “They don’t get to live. It’s not over until they’re all dead,” when describing how they should go back to Terminus and slaughter Gareth et al. The idea seems to shock everyone, and no one wants to go back since they just managed to escape, but Rick’s ruthlessness is long overdue. This is not a forgiving world; it’s a kill-or-be-killed-and-eaten one. So if Rick continues down this path (which, it would make sense if he did) and it starts butting him up against other group alpha members like Michonne, Carol or Daryl, that could be interesting. Especially given how much Carol and Daryl are clearly an item, even if not romantically—they will always have each other’s backs, which will be an important dynamic moving forward, I think.

+ “I can’t. Not yet.”Is Tyreese finally recovered enough from mourning his girlfriend – Karen? Maybe? Was that her name? – to be useful again to the group? It seems like it, after he killed that Terminus guy to protect Judith, the cleanest baby to have ever lived during a zombie apocalypse. Interesting how he turns to Carol for approval when she returns to the cabin with everyone else, informing her that she shouldn’t go in there and see what he’s done. But this is the Tyreese the group needs, the Tyreese who can help keep them safe. What else is he going to use that football-player body for? (For real though, does anyone think Chad Coleman looks even brawnier this season than he has previously? As in, the literal definition of barrel-chested? Just a thought.)

+ “We can put the world back to how it was.” Oh, Bob. His hopes, even if they were only to sway Gareth and his men from butchering the group, must be for not. Sure, Eugene claims that he was part of a Human Genome Project research experiment to figure out the zombie epidemic and fight “fire with fire,” but I refuse to believe someone with such a rocking mullet could work for a biotech company. I just cannot. Nevertheless, it certainly seems like Washington, D.C., is the group’s next intended destination, even though Eugene clearly should not be trusted. Clearly. CLEARLY.

+ “I don’t have any friends. I mean, I know people.” This is an interesting idea from the Terminus guy that Tyreese beats to death when he threatens Judith—are Rick, Michonne, Carol, Daryl, Glenn, Maggie … would we consider them friends with each other? Daryl and Carol clearly love and care for each other; Glenn and Maggie are in a relationship; but, are these really friendships? Or are they alliances? Or camaraderie? I wonder if only because as the season continues and they start another long journey, shit will surely go down that threatens the infrastructure of the group and the hierarchy, especially if people don’t like the bloodthirsty road Rick may go down. Can a group of survivors with death threatening them at all times really be friends? Just a thought.

And finally, some other things of note:

+ So, the Terminus cannibals. I guess I’m confused by how this would actually work, because hasn’t it been explained that every person who dies becomes a zombie? And therefore everyone is actually carrying the infection or whatever? So how can the humans of Terminus be harvesting other humans for food, because wouldn’t they need to kill them first—as we saw them doing by slitting the men’s throats, hanging them up to dry, etc.—but then wouldn’t the killed people become zombies, and wouldn’t the Terminus people not want to eat zombie flesh? I am legitimately curious about the logistics of this.

+ Morgan is back! MORGAN IS BACK.

+ Are Gareth and his friends going to return to attack Rick and Co. at some point in the future? It looked like Rick ended up shooting Gareth in the left shoulder, and I don’t think we would have had the THEN flashbacks if not to make us sympathize with Gareth somewhat. Hmm.  

+ Next week brings the arrival of another alum from The Wire, Seth Gilliam, who will play Gabriel Stokes, a reverend who may not be the most sane guy around. The Walking Dead may do a lot of things that annoy me, but as long as it keeps casting people from the greatest TV show of all time, I'm good.

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What’s Up with ‘The Walking Dead’: Recap of season four finale “A”

Finally, Rick Grimes! Finally. Finally, finally, finally. Is it wrong that I’m this gleeful over Rick going HAM, killing a dude by biting (very zombie-like of you, former farmer Rick), and then stabbing another guy repeatedly in front of his son? OK, maybe I’m a terrible human! But after a season of dragging its feet, it feels like The Walking Dead finally reached an appropriate level of brutality last night. Although the last few weeks of this show have been rough—and you may have noticed we’ve skipped on recaps for a while, because there seemed like very little to say—it feels like maybe this season finale was finally a reset for season five. A more insane, violent, and realistic season five.

So what went down last night in episode “A”? Let’s go through it with five quick notes. It’s Monday; ain’t  nobody got time for more than that.

+ Good: So right, Rick embraced his role as leader (again, for what feels like the millionth time) after meeting up with Joe’s gang (the bad guy who broke into the house where he, Carl, and Michonne were staying; then Rick killed some of their guys; then Joe was tracking him; then Joe forcibly adopted Daryl and was trying to make him part of his marauding crew), who were far more bloodthirsty and ruthless than anyone Rick has faced so far. Yes, the Governor was threatening—his sexual assault of Maggie remains chilling, obviously—but Maggie is not Carl. And some man trying to rape Carl? Taking Michonne hostage? Trying to kill Rick? That shit wasn’t going to go down. So Rick basically killed them all, answering Carl’s earlier question in the episode of, “Who are we?” Well, they’re survivors. And they’ll do anything to survive. And if that means losing their humanity in the process to other people who already have in far worse ways, well, then, so be it.

+ Also good: Terminus being a low-budget version of Carcosa from True Detective. Well, Michonne had the understatement of the season with the suggestion that maybe Terminus, the safe haven all of our Walking Dead friends have been traveling to find, may not be “legit.” And heyo, of course it isn’t! It’s basically an insane-o den in the middle of nowhere, where people are trapped, killed, eaten, and then skinned (or maybe skinned and then eaten; I’m not exactly sure on the finer details of cannibalism). Eventually this was going to happen in this world, right? If food is running low, and if every human could turn into a zombie at a moment’s notice, why not preemptively cut down on that problem by eating your friends? Way to raise the stakes, Walking Dead writers. I mean, season 5 will probably resolve this story arc in two episodes or something, but at least you went to this place. (Although, as my fellow PDC-er Julian Lytle pointed out on this week’s PDC podcast, if you didn’t know where the zombie sickness was coming from, wouldn’t you be afraid that eating humans—all of whom are supposedly infected already—would spark the infection in you? Just saying.)

+ Meh: Michonne backstory. It’s not that I don’t like Michonne backstory. Ultimately, I am fine with this show doing anything to try and fill out these characters, many of whom still remain gloriously underwritten (looking at you, Maggie and Glenn, only defined by your love for each other). But that nightmare sequence we had a few episodes ago that filled us in on Michonne’s very-nice lifestyle with her boyfriend and child, before everything went to shit, was a start that gets somewhat underwhelmed here. So her child was eaten because her boyfriend was high in a refugee camp when the zombies attacked? I don’t know, that didn’t seem to sync up with the life Michonne had before the zombie apocalypse went down. Attempts at Michonne and Carl further bonding, I’m into. But I don’t know if this particular aspect of her past needed to be spelled out so succinctly—it felt ho-hum.

+ Also ho-hum: OK, so Carol, Tyreese, Judith, and Beth are still missing. Was Beth maybe kidnapped by these cannibals? I’m not sure, since it seems like Terminus is more of a come-to-us operation than a grab-you-off-the-street deal. But ultimately Carol and Tyreese at least will help free our currently trapped friends, no? That has to be the first arc of next season.

+ And your happiest moment of the night: Rick telling Daryl, “You’re my brother.” Oh, Daryl, Rick is so much better than your racist older brother who basically abandoned you for the Governor. So much better! Accept Rick’s love! And murder everyone in Terminus together.

Do I have some overall thoughts on season four as a whole? Yeah, I do, but they’re not particularly positive. Most of this season felt like treading water, and I’m not sure the multi-plot structure works for this show. Perhaps the break in between the halves of the season were too long, but the first half seemed to spend too much time on the sickness sweeping through the survivors before finally returning to a Governor storyline that had already worn out its welcome.

And this second half, although it tried to give everyone more character development by splitting the survivors into smaller groups, didn’t feel like it accomplished much besides telling us what we already knew: Daryl had a traumatic childhood, Beth remains hopeful in spite of everything else, that little girl Lizzie was going to be unhinged no matter what, Glenn and Maggie love each other, etc.

Was season four a step forward for The Walking Dead? In some ways, yes. I do think experimenting with story structure and how various characters work or interact together was a good move, even if it wasn’t always successful, and hopefully the show can take more similar risks next season. And maybe “they’re screwing with the wrong people” will live up to its promise. Prove doubters like me wrong, Walking Dead writers. Please! 

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What's Up With 'The Walking Dead': Recap of 'Claimed"

Come on now TWD, I’ve defended you for years and while you used to make my job easy that’s really changing fast. ‘Claimed’ sees us shift back to follow only two of the sects of separated survivors, no Tyrese and Carol and we’ve STILL yet to see Daryl since the mid-season return. I desperately hope that ,within the next two episodes, everyone we care to see ends up back in the same group since the writers seem to be incapable of doing what is routine with Game of Thrones and following more than two storylines per episode. I’ll get back to why, save for maybe two saving graces, this was the worst episode in a while…but first let’s rundown what was going on.

Michonne and Carl go out on a supply hunt while Rick is made to stay back at the house and continue to heal. Michonne and Carl’s trip is informational if somewhat uneventful. We get to see a lot more of who Michonne was prior to ZDay through her relationship with Carl. A less cold, hell downright warm, Michonne agrees to answer Carl’s questions about her past while clearing a house. Each room they clear allows Carl one question. We find out that, among other things, her child was three years old and named Andre Anthony. Rick’s time resting at the house, however, ends up being more taxing than if he had gone with Michonne and Carl when a group of obviously unfriendly men come into the house looking for shelter. Rick spends the entirety of the episode in what is supposed to be a tense “hope the bad guys don’t find me” sequence, but it ends up less tense and more of a overcomplicated reason to get the trio back on the road. It’s unnecessary, this is where they could work in some more storylines, we don’t need an obvious threat to get them back on the road…we knew that house wasn’t their final stop. Instead of wasting that time how about they just say, “Ok, let’s get going” and move onto another storyline…this is one place that they can take a tip from the comic structure.

Abraham, Rosita, and Eugene hit a snag when Glenn wakes up in the back of their truck demanding to be let out so he can go find Maggie. Again, a whole ton of needless exposition. Sadly, this is where they should have deviated from the comics. Abraham, who is still awesome despite the way this was handled, is supposed to be a guy who is the muscle for a supposedly brilliant scientist who needs to get to DC to solve that pesky dead rising from the grave thing. He talks kind of like a comic book hero, it’s all “We need to save the world!” instead of “I need to find some water, maybe some food, possibly a bed”. Which is fine, but the way it comes across on screen is kind of counter-productive. He stops the truck when Glenn freaks out and spends precious time away from his mission to try and convince Glenn to stay with them all the while telling him that, basically, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Soooo….why not just leave his ass and roll. Yeah, he could be an asset, but is obviously distracted and out for different goals thusly making him a liability. Long story short, that whole drawn out story line which includes a fist fight between Abraham and Glenn and a non-sensical firefight with a group of walkers (seriously, the truck is right there and they are moving slowly…why not just get in the truck, drive a mile down the road, and reassess the situation?), is all done just to achieve the end result of disabling the truck so the group has to walk (Eugene accidentally shoots in the opposite direction of the walkers with enough accuracy to penetrate the fuel tanks on an armored military vehicle.

Honestly, the whole thing doesn't bode too well for the writers or the show runners. Let’s not even mention that anyone worth their salt wouldn't leave viewers without even a glimpse of the shows fan favorite character (Darryl) for three episodes. Let’s just focus on the fact that they are apparently writing the show with no intention of efficiency. If you are going to spend half an episode on an unnecessarily complicated story line, you better make damn sure that it at least does something to further the character. It takes more than just saying “The characters need to do A so let’s have them do B and C to get there”…you need to understand your characters enough to explain why they chose B or C or at least have the presence of mind to know when the explanation of that choice is just superfluous information. For instance, the picture below is completely gratuitous...but at least it's enjoyable to look at, something the writers forgot to do here. If you're going to meander you need to spend ALOT more time on gross-out effects or something other than a generic fistfight or zombie kill.

Next week we have Darryl and Beth. It looks like it’s going to be at least one more after that until everyone is reunited. Time to separate the men from the boys and see who can stick it out.

A Dash of Dissent: Rocky’s Thoughts on “Claimed”

Well well! Things are moving forward now and storylines are beginning to intersect again, and this week we have Rick, Michonne, and Carl, along with Glenn, Tara (I finally learned her name!), Abraham, Rosita, and Eugene. Let’s get right into it … unlike this episode, which felt weirdly meandering to me. And by “weirdly meandering” I mean, “typically slow for The Walking Dead.”

+ Good stuff: Abraham’s gruffness and brashness is evident, and I like that the character is so mission-oriented right now. Yes, he has a relationship with Rosita (who gets her first lines with “Is this yours?”, asking Glenn about his dropped photo of Maggie)—which Tara kind of off-handly mentions out of nowhere—but that’s not so integral to his character yet, and I appreciate that. Plus, anyone who can shittalk zombies while killing them is amusing in my book: “Aw, honey, look at you. You’re a damn mess.”

+ Also good: Us getting more of Michonne’s backstory in clearer terms, even if it’s during that silly game with Carl during their house sweeps. Her son was 3 years old when he died, his name was Andre Anthony, and, as we guessed given that flashback-inspired nightmare of Michonne’s, he might have died at the hands of his father or in some other way because of his father’s actions. That’s some depressing shit, and I especially liked her “It’s not really a secret” in reply to Carl saying he’ll keep the information quiet. The issue here is shared pain, and they all have it, so why pretend anything different? The only qualm I have with this mini bonding session is Carl’s statement that “Maybe [Judith] and Andre are together somewhere,” because duh, we know Judith is alive, but Andre certainly isn’t. So there’s this inherent inequality in that emotional release that kind of rubs me the wrong way.

+ Meh: Carl’s continued sadness of Judith’s death, which feels cheap since we know she’s alive. If there were better-written lines than “I would rather have Judith’s formula” to convey Carl’s sadness, maybe I would care more. But I don’t.

+ Annoying: An entire episode with Rick evading a home invasion? Again, this is a recurring problem I have with this show—why is everyone so quick to let their guard down?! You’ve been in this abandoned house, what, two days? Every other person you’ve interacted with since the zombie apocalypse has fucking sucked and tried to kill you, or been a nameless drain on your resources, like the Woodbury survivors who all eventually died anyway. So why not continue to keep your guard up? Maybe lock every door? Maybe reinforce all the windows? Maybe set up an alarm system? Maybe DON’T TAKE A NAP WHILE READING JACK LONDON STORIES? Goddammit, people, get it together.

+ Simultaneously frustrating and great: Glenn’s storyline is a double-edged sword for me, because I find it undermining that the show so far has really only identified him in terms of his relationship with Maggie. In the comics, he’s an excellent resource-gatherer and always the guy the group sends out for runs because he’s so crafty and wily, but in the show he and Maggie are just lovesick kids running around having as much sex as possible. I have nothing wrong with that, if they were defined outside of that relationship. But they’re not. Nevertheless, I do love Glenn having his “I WILL FIND YOU” moment, straight out of “The Last of the Mohicans,” while basically telling Abraham to fuck off so Glenn can go find Maggie. Honestly, I respect that, and Glenn has never seemed more attractive! But the group better reunite soon, because much like I cannot deal with Carl’s moping over Judith’s “death,” I would really like Glenn and Maggie to just stop being sad and develop some other personalities already. Just saying.

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