Seven Kingdoms Scoop: “Game of Thrones” recap of episode “Oathkeeper”

I don’t think I’ve ever been disappointed in two episodes of Game of Thrones in a row before, but here we are. I guess there’s a first time for everything, and last night at 10 p.m. was the first time I ever ACTUALLY SHRUGGED after an episode of GoT was over. What is happening to me? Or, more importantly, what is happening to this show?

Fellow PDC-er Travis Hopson and I always have the same argument when The Walking Dead is on, which I recapped this past season; he comes down on the “A TV adaptation should have some things that are different than the original text, because otherwise a carbon-copy would bore everyone,” but my thought is, “The original text was highly successful for a reason, so why change things that already work?” And I’m having the same argument, although this time with myself, over the last two episodes of GoT, last week’s “Breaker of Chains” and this week’s “Oathkeeper.”

If you read these recaps, or any other recaps, or pay attention to the Internet at all, or have read George R.R. Martin’s original books, you know last week’s sex scene between Jaime and Cersei pissed off many people, me included. In the books, it’s clearly consensual; in last week’s episode, it was presented far more as a rape; ultimately it was a problematic scene that is further indication of GoT’s sexual-violence-against-women problem. And by that I mean, showrunners Benioff and Weiss creating sexual violence against women in the show THAT DID NOT EXIST IN THE BOOKS, and don’t we already live in a world where there is too much violence against women on TV already? Sigh.

And with “Oathkeeper,” we’re seeing further changes from Benioff and Weiss taking effect. They altered the timeline of Bran’s journey past the Wall, so now he’s stuck at Craster’s Keep with Night’s Watch mutineer Karl instead of traveling with the mysterious Coldhands (a character exclusion from the books that I’m still bitter about). Because the show loses the POV nature of GRRM’s book chapters, Tyrion’s bitterness and anger over being imprisoned is only shown in his interactions with others, whereas his inner musings in the books are some of his most enlightening moments. And that final scene with the White Walkers … we’ll get to that final scene with the White Walkers. BECAUSE IT’S A BIG DEAL.

So yeah, I didn’t love this episode, and my trepidation about how the rest of this season will play out is growing. But let’s get to the five most important things in this episode. And, of course, SOME SPOILERS AHEAD.

+ “Kill the masters.”Let’s check in with Dany, who gets the first 10 minutes of the episode and whose storyline has been fairly sped up this season so far (which I don’t really agree with, but whatever, clearly Benioff and Weiss are not listening to me). Grey Worm and other Unsullied men dressed as slaves sneak into Meereen at night, crashing a meeting of the real slaves, who are discussing Dany’s proposition, and encourage them to rise up: “If you want it, you must take it.”

So armed with the weapons Grey Worm and Co. smuggled in, the slaves rise up against the masters, overtaking the city with their superior numbers—three slaves for every master. Cue to Dany walking through her new free city with a bemused smile, and honestly, I’m happy there seemed to be more white slaves in Meereen, because I could not handle another Dany-crowdsurfs-on-brown-people scene. But I WILL take every scene of Dany going all HAM and telling Barristan that she “will answer injustice with justice,” because nailing 163 slaveowners to spikes, the way they nailed slave children to strike fear into Dany, is fine by me. Does that make me heartless? Whatever.

Here’s the thing, though: In the books, the siege of Meereen is led by ONE VERY IMPORTANT PERSON who turns out to not be the thankless advisor Dany thought this person was. And this revelation is a HUGE deal in terms of who Dany can trust, and who she thought she was surrounding herself with. So Benioff and Weiss have accelerated the storyline but so far left out that element, and I’m curious as to why. It’s so integral to Dany’s character development … grumble grumble grumble IT BETTER SHOW UP EVENTUALLY.

+ “The Kingslayer brothers. You like it? I like it.” Oh, you silly Lannisters! So remember last week how the sex scene between Jaime and Cersei was CLEARLY A RAPE? And then director Alex Graves and actor Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and showrunners/episode writers Benioff and Weiss both called it consensual sex AND rape, and then said something along the lines of “it started as rape, but it ended in regular old sex, because that’s a thing that happens in the world?” Well, it’s not a thing that ACTUALLY HAPPENS in the world, but clearly it happened in the Game of Thrones universe, because Jaime and Cersei are going around acting like nothing out of the ordinary went down. So I guess within the show itself, we really were supposed to see that as a consensual sex scene, which is horrifically fucked up and stupid and does no favors to this show being regarded as immensely problematic when it comes to sexual violence.

But anyway, let’s end my rant and move on to what happened this episode. Jaime finally goes to see imprisoned Tyrion, who points out again that Cersei was wrong in keeping Jaime out of Joffrey’s life forever and who is furious that Jaime won’t help him escape. “I’d hate for you to do something inappropriate,” Tyrion fumes. But Jaime is ashamed when he asks Tyrion if he actually killed Joffrey, and he believes that Tyrion didn’t do it—which Cersei shoots down immediately when Jaime goes to see her. And then Cersei starts going off on Jaime for coming back to King’s Landing with “that great cow”—an insult about Brienne that you can see pisses off Jaime—and for his oath to Catelyn Stark to return her daughters. No matter how many times Jaime says, “I wanted to get back to you,” Cersei doesn’t care; instead, she just wants him to find Sansa and bring Cersei back her head. When Jaime can’t even reply, she dismisses him with a curt, “That will be all, Lord Commander”—and we’re one step closer to the inevitable Jaime/Cersei meltdown.

Here’s the thing: Cersei has used her sex appeal as a power play for years, but Jaime never thought she was using it on him, whereas Cersei (somewhat rightly) says that those are the only weapons she has. So when Cersei does have sex with Jaime in the books upon his return to King's Landing, it feels like a homecoming but also like a premature manipulation, because Joffrey is already dead and Cersei already wants Jaime to do something about it. In the show, though, I don’t think it’s clear to Jaime yet that Cersei is doing this to him, and I think the scene from last week didn’t really make this obvious, either, because we were all so focused on how it was CLEARLY A RAPE. 

So ultimately I feel like these scenes between Cersei and Jaime have been lacking something. She sounds like a broken record in terms of “you didn’t come back soon enough,” but there’s something in her response to Jaime that isn’t reading right for me. I think we haven’t been reminded in a while of how Cersei was sleeping with cousin Lancel while Jaime was gone, and I wish that she would be more forthright to Jaime about finding him useless now, about setting her sights on other people to protect her—because that's what Cersei does, look for allies. I don’t know if that sentiment has been totally clear in the Jaime and Cersei interactions so far, and ultimately, this exchange just felt so tonally off given the rape/sex scene from last week. Again, blergh.

+ “If they don’t know who you are or what you want, they can’t plan what you’re going to do next.”That’s the wisdom Petyr Baelish drops on Sansa this week as they sail toward the Vale, where Sansa’s crazy breastfeeding-past-safety aunt Lysa is waiting to marry Petyr. If you recall, he was supposed to be wooing her all this time, but he clearly stuck around King’s Landing to concoct this plan to get Sansa out of there. But Sansa is still unclear as to why he poisoned Joffrey—Petyr more clearly this time explains that the poison was in Sansa’s necklace—and as to what he could even want with her. But when he says “everything” while fondling her arm, you know what he’s saying: Catelyn Stark reborn, another chance for Petyr to get the woman he’s loved all this time. Littlefinger, you tricky bastard, I adore your deviousness.

Also devious? Granny Tyrell, the Queen of Thorns, who was in with Petyr on the con to kill Joffrey. “You don’t think I’d let you marry that beast, do you?” she tells Margaery after telling her a story about how she seduced Margaery’s grandfather into marrying her by basically forcing herself on him before he could propose to her sister, and from that Margaery learns the lesson that she needs to befriend Tommen as soon as possible, before Cersei can turn Tommen against her. 

So she shows up in his bedroom that night, cooing about secrets and petting Tommen's cat Ser Pounce (THANK GOD BENIOFF AND WEISS KEPT THE VERY IMPORTANT CHARACTER OF SER POUNCE), who Joffrey had wanted to kill and feed to Tommen; this scene seemed a bit seductive at first, but I like that it also reinforced the age difference between Margaery and Tommen (she’s about 16 or 17, he’s 13) and how just a little bit of kindness can sway Tommen to Margaery’s will. Growing up with Cersei as a mother can do that to you.

+ “I’ll find her, for Lady Catelyn. And for you.” If you didn’t tear up a bit, or at least have SOME FEELINGS, when Jaime gave Brienne the Valyrian steel sword that his father Tywin had given him so she can journey off and find and protect Sansa Stark, then you’re heartless and you’re terrible. This scene was played out a bit more sentimentally than it is in the books, when Jaime is more dismissive and Brienne not as compassionate and the two like each other but are also sick of each other, but I appreciated this version so much more.

Here are my reasons why: I love how determined Jaime looked when giving her her gifts—the sword, now named Oathkeeper; her new armor, basically like warrior couture; and Podrick Payne, who will serve as her squire (a move that protects him, like Tyrion had wanted to do)—but how conflicted he looks when she’s riding away. I love that Brienne looks back, and that the look on her face is such a mess of feelings: the realization that maybe she cares about him in a way she hadn’t expected, the realization that she might not come back, the realization that Jaime might be in danger for what he’s done, the realization that she might fail in finding Sansa. And I love them calling each other by their proper names, not “Kingslayer” or “wench,” in their parting. I JUST REALLY LOVE JAIME AND BRIENNE, OK, PLEASE NO JUDGMENTS.

+ “Lord Commander Mormont was our father. … All we can give him now is justice.” From Dany talking about justice we get to Jon Snow talking about justice, as he is given permission by Night’s Watch baddie Alliser Thorne to lead a group of men back to Craster’s Keep, to kill Karl and the other mutineers/deserters, before they tell the wildlings how undefended Castle Black is. Thorne wants to get rid of Jon Snow and hopes he dies during the expedition, and Bolton henchman Locke (who is suddenly at the Wall already, already ingratiating himself among the men), who also volunteers for the trip to Craster’s Keep, looks like he’s itching to end the Stark line. And if you couldn’t tell how insane Locke is, his fake story to Jon about why he joined the Night’s Watch—“chose the Wall over losing my hand”—is a nod to how he took Jaime’s hand, AND THAT IS NOT OK, YOU ASSHOLE.

On to other assholes, Karl is in Craster’s Keep, where he’s having a real Hamlet moment with a cup made out of Commander Mormont’s skull and telling his men to do whatever they want with Craster’s daughter/wives; the direct quote is, “Fuck ‘em ‘til they’re dead,” because, you know, GoT doesn’t have enough unnecessary rape already. Goddammit, I can’t even with how unnecessarily awful this scene was. WE GET IT. THE MUTINEERS ARE BAD GUYS. WE GET IT. That’s furthered when we see that they’ve captured Jon Snow’s direwolf Ghost; when they capture Bran, his direwolf Summer, the Reeds, and Hodor, who have been camping near Craster’s Keep; when they torture Hodor; and when Karl threatens to rape Meera, causing Bran to tell him who he really is.

So now Karl knows that he has Jon Snow’s little brother as a hostage, and Jon is leading the Crows to Craster’s Keep anyway to kill the mutineers, and there’s the possibility that the paths of Jon and Bran will overlap. WHICH DOESN’T HAPPEN IN THE BOOKS, AND I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS HAPPENING.

+ And finally, have a sixth thing, because we haven’t talked about the White Walkers yet and we should. “A gift for the gods,” Craster’s daughter/wives mutter like cult members when they tell Karl about the young son they need to leave out in the snow for the White Walkers, and those final few minutes of the episode show us where the boys have been going: picked up by the White Walker we've seen before (long hair, wrinkly face) and taken to what looks like White Walker Stonehenge, where the baby is left on an altar and one head-honcho White Walker, with a crown, comes up to him, touches his face, and turns him into one of their own.

Who is that White Walker? SPOILER ALERT: It’s the Night’s King, a fabled baddie that both the Stark nanny Old Nan and Jon's wildling lover Ygritte had mentioned in the books. According to Old Nan, the Night’s King, hundreds of years ago, was a leader of the Night’s Watch who fell in love with a female White Walker; he took her as his queen and turned the Nightfort into his personal castle. For years he ruled, causing terror with his sacrifices to the other White Walkers, but he was finally defeated by the King in the North and the King Beyond the Wall. But apparently, he wasn’t really defeated, was he? Oh, and according to Old Nan, the Night’s King was once a Stark of Winterfell. And his name might have been Bran. So … that’s kind of a big deal, I would say.

Oh, and HBO didn’t want you to know that this White Walker is the Night’s King. As my friend Allie pointed out initially, he was mentioned by name in the HBO episode notes last night, but as Travis pointed out to us this morning, his name is now gone; he’s just a generic “Walker.” That’s cute, HBO, but you can’t fool us. THE NIGHT KING HAS RISEN. And now I’m getting Yellow-King-from-True-Detective flashbacks and I have to stop talking about this because I don’t need any more nightmares in my life, thanks.

+ And a few final thoughts:

+ So Grey Worm’s crush on Missandei continues as she teaches him how to speak the Common Tongue. In the books, it’s made very clear that because the Unsullied are eunuchs, they can’t feel any kind of sexual lust—since, you know, no genitalia—but I think romantic love is still possible, and this pairing is cute enough. Although in the books, Missandei does have a couple of brothers who are Unsullied, and I wish they had kept that plot element; it made her more invested in the eunuchs’ plight, and less distanced from what other slaves had been through.

+ I continue to love the training sessions between Jaime and Bronn, especially Jaime asking him, “You talk to my brother this way?” Of course! Sellswords need no etiquette.

+ Keep chugging that wine, Cersei! Gotta love how she’s becoming just as much of a drunk as Robert, the husband she used to hate for being drunk all the time. Ah, karma.

+ “I won’t slow you down, Ser … My lady?” Oh, Pod! Book version of you will struggle with calling Brienne “Ser” forever. Get used to it.

+ Anyone else think the Night’s King looks exactly like season one baddie the Master from Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Can we get someone who looks like Giles to be a master or something? That would be great for me, thanks.