Review: The Losers

What happens when the baddest black ops team in the US military gets betrayed? They get even in a big way, that’s what. The Losers is a film about 5 members of a black ops military squad; Clay (Jeffery Dean Morgan) the team leader, Roque (Idris Elba) Clay’s right hand man and voice of reason, Jensen (Chris Evans) the jokester tech guy, Pooch the vehicle specialist, and Cougar the team’s sniper. The film opens with the squad on a mission in Bolivia, the objective is simple enough; mark a complex for fighter jets to bomb. Complications arise when the team notices there are children inside the complex, when they call in an abort they are told the mission is still a go by a mysterious voice only known as Max. They are forced to race against time to rescue all 25 children inside, putting them in direct violation of their orders. When the helicopter that was supposed to extract them is blown to bits by a US fighter jet the Losers know that they are now on the other side of the law. Blamed for the bombing in Bolivia and presumed as dead in the helicopter explosion the team must find a way back in to the US and exact revenge against the man behind their downfall, Max.

                Whew did I expect the wrong thing going into this movie. I really thought I was going to be getting balls out action with some comedy thrown in for good measure. What I got was still great, just different than I expected. A movie more funny than action packed, The Losers somehow manages to be a total comedy AND a balls out action movie. The unquestionable star of the show is Chris Evans, his portrayal of Jensen is downright hilarious and he commands what is easily the most memorable scene of the movie.  Jeffery Dean Morgan’s Clay is as cool as they come in every scene he’s in and is completely believable as the team’s leader bringing confidence and hope to the left for dead and outlawed Losers. Complementing the wealth of comedy in the movie are some great action sets worthy of the title “adrenaline infused”. I think the really winner is the chemistry between the team members which just seems natural and real, you get the real feeling that these guys are like a tight knit family which ups the ante when the climax of the film comes around. Do I really need to type here that Zoe Saldana was beautiful? No, goes without saying but what I didn’t know is that this woman can throw down. Somehow she manages to hold her own in a wall breaking, slam down fist fight with Clay and can even pull off the action movie staple of firing two guns whilst diving through the air. So we have great writing, white knuckle action and a great cast (almost…more on that in a second), so what could there possibly be to complain about? Well not much to be honest and nothing that ruins the fun you have with the film but I’ve got a few notes for you.

                Like I said earlier the cast was ALMOST great. The only downside being Max (Jason Patric) the flick’s titular villain. A parody of every Bond villain and evil business man cliché there is Max tries to be funny and menacing but fails at both. I just didn’t buy what he was selling…sorry. His lines came off more like they were meant for a not as humorous version of Dr. Evil than the character we were seeing on screen. This fact made any attempt at him appearing threatening completely fall off. Never was I worried about this guy besting the Losers in battle or really even outsmarting them, though he does at one point. Also a problem for me was the weapon that served as the focal point for the second half of the film. Max’s grand plan is to by “Snukes”, which is basically the opposite of a nuke and instead of exploding it just sucks in anything in its path making it disappear, causing only tornados and a mild thunderstorm instead of nuclear fallout. To add to that ridiculous premise the damn things look like oversized egg timers. Basically anything involved with the bad guy element of this movie was subpar in my opinon.

                Does have a great team for The Losers make up for having such a pathetic villain with an equally stupid evil plan? Why yes, yes it does. This movie was fun, A LOT of fun and the good guys are to thank for that. I haven’t had so many snort inducing laughs in an action movie since God knows when. Do you like seeing stuff blown up? How about bad guys being blasted by sub-machine gun fire? Knock-down hand to hand combat? If you answered yes to any of these questions than The Losers is the movie for you this weekend. I would LOVE to see these guys all together again for a sequel so make sure and get your butts to the box office this weekend and catch The Losers, I can guarantee a good time and will bet you never listen to ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ the same way again

3.5 out of 5 Guttenbergs